Fighting the after-show blues

With so much substandard art masquerading as “important” in public galleries, I’m not sure serious, quality-driven painters need public galleries at all. Many of my collectors never attend public galleries at all, nor do they know where they are located.

Speaking of galleries, these days unrepresented artists have to watch out for telephone pitchwomen trying to sell expensive wall space ($2000 to $5000 a crack) along with pale advertising, dvd’s, etc., in such venues as the San Francisco Art Fair.

While I experience the occasional bout of self-doubt, like all artists, I truly love exhibiting my work (selectively). Shows are a great opportunity to engage your audience, mingle, network, have fun and, hopefully, make sales. I believe the key is this: Know your objective. What are you after? Sales, representation, acceptance, approval? Artists need to enter the game with a certain level of confidence. Criticism (or silence) is part of the game. Get used to it. If your ego can’t handle rejection, that’s all the more reason to subject yourself to it – to build up a tolerance for Life, which will pummel you at every opportunity. I’ve had exciting debates with viewers who have enjoyed my work, and thrilling debates with those who have not. Create, share, engage, connect. Don’t let the fear of failure, rejection – or even commercial success – inhibit you from exhibiting your unique gifts of expression to the world.

I was struck while looking at your interesting paintings by the sadness, fatigue and pain present in your portrayals of women. Are these self-portraits? I also wonder at the verticality of some of your portraits — some of which do not contain the entire figure so it can’t be that you are trying to fit a figure into a specific corresponding space…it is just something i wonder about. I really like the portrait of the women on the sofa — the point of view is great — and it seems kind of ironic — the sense of looking up at the figure who is (it seems) exhausted. I hope that your next exhibition is a better experience — silence can be very unnerving! I have never shown my work outside of the classroom so I can’t speak from my own experience, but i do not that sometimes when i have had what i consider to be a really successful day of painting that I feel a little ‘down’ after stopping. This has happened to me many times…i don’t really understand it. In any case — keep painting!

Compliments on the comments so far. I hope Megan takes comfort from them. I don’t consider myself a professsional, but I do exhibit paintings now and again. The current show is in the cardiology department of a big hospital. Patients – some of them seriously ill – come and go through those corridors and are cheered by the eccentricities, or colours, or scurrilous little creatures that abound on my canvases. I don’t get much feedback – don’t expect it – my success is having them hanging there! Megan’s paintings are of course autobiographical. Even if we paint a landscape or a flower, and certainly in abstract works, we are lurking in/out there somewhere, with all our energy, emotion etc. So what is on the canvas will – if it isn’t pseudo (and who can really judge that in modern works that show hardly any skill apart from marketing expertise?) – reflect the creator. My advice to Megan would be to take each painting and write something in the first person about the content (what she sees!). Words can heal. Find out what was “going on” in you when you made the work. It’s a great exercise and you can use the texts at your next show. It may be a kind of emotional striptease, but as a artist you’re doing that anyway!

From what I see your work is excellent. You have shown such emotion. Such pain. Whether we are artists or patrons of the arts I think the thing that draws most people is what comes from the artists heart. You have done that and more. Now that you have shown your work you have begun a new journey and it can be a lonely one. But it can open doors and show the world what you can do. Keep up your work and don’t dwell on the past but look forward to the future. Do what you love and people will follow you and hopefully purchase your work; if they have not done so by now.

Hi Megan Firstly I want to say that I think your work is fantastic. I had a really good look around your website and was immediately impressed. I’m always look for new way to depict the figure and I think you have really captured that. I think it’s a shame you didn’t have an opening event but I too fill up with the self doubt just before a show. I then get the blues after an exhibition, partly the anti climax or it can be that people i really wanted to come didn’t or that I didn’t make as many sales as I’d hoped so therefore I am a failure. Fortunately these feelings don’t last long. I rationalise the whole thing and then get back in my studio and the sun begins to shine again. I think exhibiting is like standing in a main street naked but I do enjoy the exciting, edginess of it and meeting people who want to talk to me about my work. The public will never really know what goes into making our work so I think we feel disappointed when they are so indifferent and make a judgement so quickly. This, I believe, is due to their lack of experience and not knowing that looking and feeling a piece of art takes time and thought. I’m rambling but I just wanted to comment because I really enjoyed looking at it. All the best, Janee

I Love showing! It gives me an opportunity to schmooze with people who are interested in art – to get their perspectives on my work, and yes, it gives my ego a little boost. Whether or not they are there to purchase a painting, I am always grateful for the turn out. I think showing validates one’s art. We cannot create in a vacuum, and this gives us the chance to show the world why we paint.

Dear Megan, I’m familiar with the feelings you describe after a show has opened, but hope you will not take silence of others personally (or most other human reactions for that matter–it’s rarely about us). Perhaps they felt the emotion you expressed so well and did not know what to say. I often feel that way myself. The better the work, the less words seem appropriate! I’m so glad Robert posted some of your sensitive, beautiful portraits. I admire your restraint and fine coloring — do you see that while this may be my highest praise, it is not enough? Hang in there — spring is just around the corner.

Megan — your work is truly fabulous. I love how each portrait is handled uniquely using composition as a narrative element. After my last show ended without sales, my gallery owner said to me “silk is silk, even if the people think it’s corn.” Then, a couple of months after the show was down, people started remembering and buying. Go figure. It’s so hard not to be discouraged and think only about who *didn’t* come, but you owe it to your great eye to continue onwards and to be the ultimate judge of your own work.

I adore the process of planning and creating the works…and I love the process of arranging an exhibition (paperwork and all!) However, actually attending the opening reception used to be emotional chaos for me. I could never really get a good feel on the honesty of the folks attending, although I did greatly appreciate that they came. I think it becomes less painful when you make up your mind that it truly doesn’t matter what others think…it only matters that you painted the piece. In my humble opinion (and it shouldn’t matter, remember? :) your work is very thoughtful and thought-provoking.

I’m not able to find an exclamation that would sufficiently express how touched and supported and SEEN I feel due to this exchange you and I have had! Your thoughts offered me humor and commiseration and encouragement. And it triggered a massive number of PASSIONATE and supportive emails into my inbox. I do realize the truth is that my relationship to painting is in the end about me and my paintbrush. I do get this. AND painting is also a way to connect with the world, to speak the unspeakable and ideally this doesn’t happen in a vacuum! So getting all the responses sent directly from your letter to megan@meganmoore.net is like a sacred or anointing oil to what feels like my ravaged self.

Megan, I enjoy looking at your work and I am particularly drawn to Salmon River. I just keep wanting to look at it and love everything about it. Some things I do to help myself not get down about anything I do is to stop having expectations. Having expectations in any venture that are dashed can be devastating. I try to have no or low expectations when I show. I am happy if someone just looks at my paintings. Please don’t stop sharing your work, it is wonderful!

Great job. Reminds me a lot of Froyd and Bacon. The public may be puzzled by so many strong works. Each painting screems very loud. We artists love it but laymen may not be prepared for that.

Exhibitions are important because they require the artist to “throw their hat over the fence”, i.e. make a commitment to engage in the act of creating the art. It is much healthier for the artist to disengage from expectations of positive feedback or to be brought down by negative feedback. Try this as a mantra…”Do you love it, do you hate it, there it is the way I made it. Just keep making art and try not to be too self-indulgent.

Megan, you paint with deep emotion and with obvious vulnerability, probably a bit on the sober side. That takes great courage. Leaving yourself so open may be the root of your let down. There is honesty in your paintings. A post-show holiday may be in order to rejuvenate. Abandon your studio for a week or so and come back refreshed.

From a creative perspective, I was much happier in the days when I hadn’t shown my art, from when I first started drawing and painting in the late 1960’s, when I was still a child, until just prior to my BFA graduation show in 1982. I’d had a few pieces a in a few other shows, but didn’t think much about showing, or care to. The process of painting was what mattered. I did sink into a depression after that first 2 person show and to some extent never recovered, though I have had many creative periods since. I feel that I rarely hit that same stride again where I was painting so passionately that little else mattered, or when I did, it didn’t go on endlessly for months. Since late 2008 I’ve been running a small independent art gallery in Berkeley, CA. It has felt like the right thing to do at this time in my life. Paintings have found new homes (those prolific periods have amassed a huge body of work I need to house somewhere), new friends have been made, the weekly jam sessions and poetry readings have enriched people’s lives. But I’m not doing more painting or other art forms, though hanging the space, designing the invitations, etc. is its own compositional work. Sometimes I’d rather just let someone else do it, all the business side of it, or not do it at all. I don’t agree with Andrew Wyeth-I love to see my work up, it cheers me up, and some say it cheers them up, also.

I have to wonder if Megan did any self promotion for this event? She must have known in advance there would be no opening reception. If the show is still to be up for a while, she should send out an email announcement to all her collectors, friends and relatives. If she has a mailing list, a flyer with all basic info can be sent. Did she send out a press release packet to all local newspapers? This is a must. Showing in a museum is a big deal, even if it is only small and local. She should be excited for this opportunity, not crying the blues.

Megan has nothing to worry about! Her paintings are wonderful.

Megan, I love your work and would really have enjoyed seeing it in person. Anyone who paints the human form this uniquely and with such sensitivity needs to be appreciated. I hope you feel your own private satisfaction with each one, and don’t have to depend on the whims of arbitrary public viewers.

I once had an exhibition in Cleveland Ohio, no press releases or invitations were sent out. I had flown in from Denver to attend the show. When I found out that no press was done etc., I called the paper myself ,got an appointment to see a reporter. I was smart enough to take an example of my work with me, I was interviewed and got a photo story in the paper. I learned over the years to take charge of my own PR, I haven’t stopped being my own press agent. Modesty leads to oblivion.

Meghan your work is amazing. The dark whispers are telling you terrible lies. I too fall prey to the dark, and I find that time following the ‘frantic’ preparation for a show to be one of the most dangerous. For me it’s akin to the after Christmas let down, you’ve tried so hard to make everything perfect for the big day and then… it’s over. Did they appreciate the gifts you gave, the feast, the decorations, the labour of love? Sure they say thank-you, but do they really mean it, or is that just good manners? Thankfully I’ve learned that the best response to the mummers, is to get right back into my studio routine, and to stay in contact with supportive artist friends. I’ve also learned that talking out loud to my mental darkness, and telling it to buzz off, helps a lot. If you don’t already have a mantra develop one and repeat it (out loud) often. We live so much in our heads, we need the power of the verbal to break the dark. It sounds a bit crazy, but it works.

Thanks for putting Megan Moore’s work on your clickback. I like her work very much! Honest vision, gripping! I also admired your comments, too. I hope she is one who will continue to overcome the demons all artists face!

I understand the need to hide at openings. I hate attending my own events and have been guilty of ” being sick” for them. Now that I have my own gallery it is unavoidable. I hide behind the bar in the roll of bartender and watch the events unfold like a spectator. The access to wine doesn’t hurt either….

Have no fears. Your clickback show by Robert Genn gave you a large and unexpected exposure that you did not hope for.

I agree that your figures are a sensitive and emotional personal response from you about life. I especially love the Salmon River painting of the old men in the water!! The composition, the figures and the painting quality really speak to me. It is compelling, and I want to go see it again and again.

Dear Megan, This is the first comment I have submitted to Mr. Genn’s letters. I typically limit expressing my opinions out of a concern for the loss of impact of the words the moment I utter/write them. In this case, however, I am willing to risk that. The use of space in some of your work was particularly striking. I have experimented with a similar approach, but have not fully exploited it. As I read your comments and felt the alienation you were expressing, I could not help but see the connection to the use of the broad expanses of space isolating the figures in some of your work. Additionally, I noticed that you are situated in Montana, where wide expanses are characteristic of the landscape there. It is also cold and foreboding in the dead of winter there I suspect. For good and bad, these factors impact people in your area, and you are capturing some of that. Place plays an important role in our lives. I never realized that fully until later in my life. You are a gifted painter. Your work is not only technically sound, but full of potential meaning for viewers who are tuned into what they see. I admire your efforts. Do not succumb to the negative effects of the melancholia that is also the power behind your art. Sincerely, Pat

Megan..what a gift! Your work is truly thought provoking. I love the format of all the work, exceptional and quite off the wall which I suppose some (non artists) can’t appreciate. Do you work from imagination or use models? Do keep up with your painting. Have had some pretty funny gallery openings myself, but they are learning experiences and the more wine served the better, in fact have one before you go to your own show!!! Cheers!!

I love these paintings…they’re raw, that undertone of red on flesh is like a slaughterhouse floor. I can certainly empathize with Megan’s fear that the silence greeting her means that her work is no good. In this case I think people just wouldn’t know what to say in the face of this pain. Hopefully she’ll hear from hundreds as to their brilliance and feel better about them.

Megan, like Robert says, your work is terrific. Carry on!! And thanks for the warning. I have a show coming up @ our local “National Gallery” and I appreciate the warning. After the commercial gallery shows I’ve had I noticed that I felt pretty flat for awhile afterwards. The solution was to paint anyway. And I now try and look at it as an opportunity to increase my notariety. Thanks Robert for your wonderul newsletters whcih help us to stay connected and support each other.

Is there a reason the museum did “not” have an opening? I can’t get beyond that question. Rather than guess or hypothesize, can you elaborate? I’ve never heard of an exhibit without an opening. This entire situation is extremely sensitive, at best, from the outpouring of the artist to the sadness portrayed so deeply in the paintings. It seems to me this series is open to much further discussion! Perhaps the seeds need to settle in before sprouting. In Joy and appreciation for all you bring to our world, Robert. You are a master of diplomacy.

I am still fighting the after-show blues from my one month long show in November 2009! I took the year off and produced 35 new works of art. I had some exposure from the local papers and the comments in my guest book were all positive. But no sales! There were some comments about my prices being too high, but other than that and the current economy the original high that I created during the build up to the show is gone! I have not picked up a brush since.

I was very touched by Megan’s letter and felt compelled to send her a letter of support. Aren’t we humans cruel to ourselves, when we choose to think the worst and interpret silence as a negative, even when we are not there to hear the many positive comments that could have been made! Her work is stunning and her use of the vertical brilliant!

Hello Robert, don’t think I would go the root canal way but for me the openings are just one big party. And I’m not a party gal anyway. Seriously, while it is lovely to hear friends and family make nice comments about our work, this is not WHY we paint. So for me, the openings just create more stress. I’m just happy to have my paintings up so people can simply enjoy them – and if I get a sale or two that’s love as well. I’m new to the letters and must tell you I enjoy them so much.

It is so helpful so read how other artists get nervous exhibiting, very helpful to know I am not alone! Something else I struggle with is the question .. Is it really ok for me to earn a living as a an artist? I must have a deep-seated work ethic in me who feels I should have a day job and just do art as a hobby. However I have delicate health which means I have a lot of sensitivities and allergic reactions so I have to rest a lot otherwise my health worsens. So I do a small manageable amount of art work every day, a few years ago starting to paint with my feet due to co-ordination problems. I have a suspicion that the “should” voice is what makes me unwell, I am using NLP techniques to try to change the way I talk to myself..

If you think this letter is good, you should read all of Robert’s over the last ten years. My hard copy arrived on Thursday and there is a wealth in it. Beautiful. Thanks Robert.

Hang in there friend. Your thoughts are the ones that go along with showing ones work. I haven’t painted now for a long time and I really don’t miss it at all. . i still have my paints so I can paint again when I feel like it. The instructor I had when we were still going to Texas in the winter told me that I had finally gottten the knowhow to paint. I looked at my picture and could see what he meant too. I have several paintings hanging around our home which I enjoy. Well I better scoot —My breakfast dishes are calling me to put them in the dishwasher.

The artist’s version of stage fright. I feel as if I am hanging myself on a meat hook on the walls in little pieces throughout the gallery for people to prod, poke, disseminate, love, ignore and talk about me as if I was not there. It is my life on the walls. What I love to do. But I also realize what I love to do may not be accepted or liked by others.

it is very sad Megan feels this way. I know, silence is hard to take. The museum not having any opening is shameful of both the museum and its volunteers for not honoring her and her work. If her work is good enough to have a museum show then a reception is definitely warranted. She will in time come to realize this will be a good thing to have had her Museum show, it will serve her well, and will be a very good addition to her resume. I too have been overlooked when I have had shows and it hurts not to have that small time in the sun. But Megan you will survive. Your work speaks for itself and you are going to go well beyond this show, keep painting, and always remember to “paint from your heart with Joy!”

in the end all artists want recognition for their work. We gain a certain satisfaction from doing the work well, but art is a visual medium and is meant to be seen. No reaction at all is the most difficult to handle.

I currently have 17 works of my art up in a very fine-looking exhibition (The Great Cranberry Island Portrait Project) along with the stories gleaned from interviews with our subjects, written by my project partner, journalist Rebecca Buyers-Basso. Bar Harbor, Maine right now is pretty darn cold, and our opening reception was postponed, though Becky and I were upstairs to welcome whoever braved the snow. We took the two people who did come (one of our subjects and his wife, who had come on the ferry from the Island!!) home to Becky’s for dinner, a lovely evening, an opening to remember. But in the end, having your work up on the wall can tell you so much, just you, the artist. Seeing a body of work framed properly, hung as it should be, in a space that enhances the experience, is what we all dream of. It lets us see ourselves/our art through different eyes. So whether the general populace files past it or not (and everybody’s got an opinion), don’t miss the opportunity to look and learn about yourself and your art. Bangor, ME

I understand what you mean and can certainly empathize. The last small show that I participated in also had no opening. I received no feedback and found it more and more difficult to visit the show, until one day some weeks after the opening I received a call from the gallery to tell me that a piece had sold. The relief was palpable. Malta

I was struck while looking at your interesting paintings by the sadness, fatigue and pain present in your portrayals of women. Are these self-portraits? I also wonder at the verticality of some of your portraits — some of which do not contain the entire figure so it can’t be that you are trying to fit a figure into a specific corresponding space…it is just something i wonder about. I really like the portrait of the women on the sofa — the point of view is great — and it seems kind of ironic — the sense of looking up at the figure who is (it seems) exhausted. I hope that your next exhibition is a better experience — silence can be very unnerving! I have never shown my work outside of the classroom so I can’t speak from my own experience, but i do know that sometimes when i have had what i consider to be a really successful day of painting that I feel a little ‘down’ after stopping. This has happened to me many times…i don’t really understand it. In any case — keep painting! Chicago IL

I have been a performer and an artist that hangs things on the wall. On stage you either get applause or not. When you hang a show there is no process for completion, birthing or cutting of the cord.

Megan, your work is beautiful. The fact that you have the courage to paint raw feelings as shown in your work is not often done. Especially in America where everyone is encouraged to say “Cheese” all day and hide feelings of loneliness, sadness and sorrow. The fact that you did it, not only in your appearance but even worse in an enlarged way through your paintings makes people uncomfortable. I can see that they don’t know what to say. You are supposed to paint sunsets, happy flowers in a vase and children playing in the sand. I would say, bravo for connecting to all the sad people and daring to express it.

I really believe that the creative process is what turns us on! The show while exciting does not have the impact that creating a well painting that pleases us inwardly has. Oftentimes we expect this feeling to carry on through our shows. Then we realize that with paintbrush in hand, we are achieving the dreams we wanted. The rest is anticlimactic.

Your paintings are memorable. There can really be no higher praise. I am reminded of a photograph, a snapshot of myself as a child, in grey school uniform, in National Health glasses, standing in front of a huge wall. Small. Insignificant. That image came back to me as I looked at the spaces left open in your paintings. And into those spaces my imagination moved. Not simply sadness but other feelings. Nostalgia. Happiness. The significance of things that were not memorable in CAPITAL letters but which mean something special.Thank you.

This letter surprised me, as my own experience is so opposite. I deliberately decide to put on 1-2 solo shows per year, for the following reasons: * it gets me focused and keeps me painting in the little time I have to devote to it (I still work full time at a non-art career) * choosing a theme helps me to choose the next painting subject, and the next… * seeing all the resulting works displayed together gives me a great feeling of satisfaction and closure, and helps me critique my own work * I enjoy the openings — it’s a social time to see my friends, family, and collectors, and share my joy in painting * I make sales and publicize my work to a new audience (my shows are often in not-for-profit venues such as libraries) * I often get new students signing up for my workshops via my shows * I get more viewings at my website after a show * the guest book comments can be used for promo materials So — what’s not to like? For me, painting is a means of expression, of communicating — if no-one ever sees it or responds to it, the circle is incomplete, and I don’t know if my message has been communicated. But for others, painting may fulfill a whole different need, and shows may not meet that need.

No wonder she is experience sadness. Perhaps if she would paint some happy faces, her mood would change. I felt sad viewing her paintings.

After my last show, I felt very disconnected. The best thing about shows is the honest feedback, but sometimes it makes you feel you have put your soul out for people to see, and no one even notices. I used to go to science fiction conventions, and the larger ones with art shows feature successful artists and writers who do panels and enjoy just talking with the rest of us mortals. Anyone can exhibit in the show, and beginners have panels next to very sophisticated artists. The level of enthusiasm is wonderful, and that is what is often missing from regular art shows. Megan might find more appreciation in joining a local art group, since they have more art expertise and know better than the general public what kind of emotional investment goes into paintings.

Whenever an artist exhibits they run the risk of rejection or disapproval. It’s part of the game. If you wish to not be a part of this, don’t show your work. Harsh maybe, but the truth is we all are subject to the same possible riducule. It’s a risk some take with a the thought that some will like your work and some will not. But your not painting to please everyone. If you are you are in for years of misery. The only true judge of your work is you. I know this sounds a cliche, but it’s true. If you paint to please you are setting yourself up for failure from the outset. I say all this as one who has gone down the same road and had to learn to over it or give up painting. Everything I’ve done in my 65 years on this earth has been in public and subject to criticism. I’ve developed a very thick skin because of it. But to be an artist takes a thick skin expecially if you choose to take a risky road and not play it safe. All you can do if you wish to show is put it out and forget the critics. Your reward in the end is you managed to do what others only talk about doing. You presented a body of work that will stand for who you are and the world be damned.

I feel for Megan…showing your artwork can be an incredibly unnerving, fearful experience. The most poignant, revealing and denuding statement ever made to me was when I allowed several of my close cousins a peek at my never-before seen paintings — the first I’d done in my life. They were not on view in a gallery. In fact, thirty rather large, 54″ X 72″ canvases, secured by shower curtain hooks to metal rods, hung unceremoniously in my laundry room. I was frightened. There was no theme, no developed style apparent, the subject matter was all over the map — I’d given myself permission to let the paintings come out whatever way they wanted — and the quality? Ha. Definitely “nowhere to go but up” calibre. My cousins crowded in to get a better view. I distinctly remember wishing I could curl up into my stomach. After a pregnant pause, my eldest cousin, a director in the film industry, angled an eagle-eyed look at me and exclaimed, “Wow! I’ve just had a glimpse inside Cindy’s brain…” I stifled a gasp. I was shocked. It is one thing to want to hide from judgment, but is completely unnerving to feel like someone just crawled inside your head. Then , a curious thing happened as a wave of relief and gratitude replaced fear. I realized that someone actually “got” me. My cousin hadn’t judged me or my work. He’d merely stated that he’d seen beyond the paint, the canvas, the images. What he’d said made it okay to be me. Happily, “personal growth” allows an artist to be a work in progress. I’m okay with that too.

Megan, your portraits are intriguing. I particularly like ‘Eve and Lorraine’ as it is so reminiscent of my daughter and I, many years ago. And ‘Salmon River’ is wonderful. Again, it brings back memories of my Dad, and the Little Salmon River we once went to that was shallow enough to lie in, like this, and where we fished. I can identify with the post-show letdown, and now can anticipate it. I am gearing up for two group shows and one small solo shows over the summer, so am in the feverish part of the cycle. The wrung out part will come later!

Megan Moore’s work is beautiful. I think she needs a support system of fellow artists that she loves & love her. She should join a studio situation where she can meet kind, generous people like her, if she can afford it. Then she can quit if she wants, once her support system is in place. She can have lunch with them, or just drop by & visit. She just needs “like” people that she respects & who respect her, who will be there for her. She sounds a little alone in the art world.

Most people can’t help that they crash after a show, or any other time. The important point is what’s done with or about it, and that can be quite a varied selection of responses. In any case, since most people are not indulging themselves in depression, but experiencing it, I think empathy is in order. The “boot straps” comments are useless.