Petrified by rejection

Rejection will always be part of the game. Truly, get over it quickly. Some ways to get over this is by painting in public at every opportunity. Nothing gets you over rejection faster than having others peering over your shoulder while you work. Seriously, try it. Rejection from shows doesn’t amount to a hill of beans. You won’t be able to satisfy everyone. You only have to satisfy yourself. And to be honest, your work may be better than those giving the show, so expect to be rejected, it’s called jealousy! Look at it this way, if everything you did was accepted with open arms, you would begin to doubt yourself anyway. It isn’t possible to make a work every time that is spot on with a viewer. So, seriously, get over it. You are the only paying that much attention anyway. Everyone else is scared sh–less more than you over their own work. It’s like swimming, jump in; you will survive and not drown. Now, if you can’t take rejection after all of this, give it up and become a homemaker.

Robert, you have given us a name for our Studio Daemon! Reminds me of C.S. Lewis’ Screwtape Letters! (devil’s advocate story.) Something I tell myself about rejections is that you have to get rid of that one to get to the next acceptance…. and think about those writers I know who put their “unable to use your submission” slips up on the wall, knowing that for each x number of rejections slips an acceptance will come. You have to consider the odds/ the percentages. I got skunked the week after I sold out! Who can make sense of it? Never mind…just keep chugging along. It all evens out properly eventually. (wish Van Gogh knew before he died what an impact his art would make, poor guy.)

Whenever you submit your work to a show just remember the judge is only one person or if a committee, just a few people out of the many in the world with an opinion. They do not have that much power over your career. Many times I have submitted a piece to a show, have it get in, and win an award. When the same painting was submitted to another show, it would be rejected. Who can tell what forces are at work? Develop a thick skin when it comes to rejection and let it roll right off, going on to the next thing. Keep on painting, submitting only your very best work. Listen only to the friends you have who are helpful and positive and have your best interest in mind. Reject those Who tell you to get a real job or paint something that would sell or some other ridiculous nonsense. Paint what is in your heart to paint, the very best you can and the world will love it too.

Why not take a workshop with a friendly, helpful instructor instead of an academic snob for a teacher. Most art clubs and societies are really friendly groups who would help anybody, new or in trouble. I’m a member of the Idaho Watercolor Society, having both taken and instructed our workshops and I know this is true not only here but most places. Working artists are almost always looking to help others if the need arises. Robert himself is an example of this.

At some point in everyone’s life we develop a sense of identity. Some are able to arrive there in their late teens or twenties with a clear idea of what they want out of life and how to get there. They tend to achieve early and high. It takes us late bloomers a little longer. Call it maturity if you like, self worth or self esteem, but when you finally find yourself it is a marvelous thing – no amount of criticism or rejection will mean anything. You can grin at negative evaluation of your work because only you know what you are trying to accomplish. And who are they, anyway? Just a bump in the road. No one determines your success but you alone. I suppose that is why I love old people so much … they don’t care. They dress as they please, eat what they want, and are indifferent to reaction when they say what we wish we had the guts to say. They found themselves decades ago …. Rejection is part of the job description for anyone in the arts … one must have a sense of purpose. You must have direction of where you want to go with your art and no one decides that but you. Seek relevance instead of approval.

My work has been rejected as well as accepted in art shows. Now, I look at who will judge art shows and get some background on his/her/their art background. If they do not have experience in the medium I am entering, I know that if I enter the art show, it will be a risky adventure. However, if judges do have experience in my art medium, I enter the show with confidence; if rejected, I mark it up to “I tried” and keep on creating. “You cannot please all the people all of the time…”

Buggg is the Tribal Mentality. Declare your independence, and tell him to buggg off. Edward Hopper’s response to those asking “What are you trying to say?” was “If I could say it in words, there would be no reason to paint.”

My 2 cents’ worth of advice for Kristen is this. You must not ‘personalize’ the rejection. When some of your work is rejected (over in these parts, we say ‘declined’), it does not mean that you and everything you stand for are rejected, or worthless. Having work criticized or turned down for a show, does not mean that you are a bad painter, and certainly it does not mean that you are not a valuable person, worthy of love and acceptance. Rejection can feel that way. It can shake you up to the core and make you feel unworthy, unloved, and worse yet, unlovable. So, give yourself a shake, and remind yourself, it’s only the work, and it’s ONLY THE OPINION of a few jurors, or a teacher (a teacher who perhaps couldn’t make it as an artist so became a teacher instead??). If you truly cannot take any kind of criticism or rejection, then I suggest you stop showing your work. You will never please everyone, so you must please yourself. (I think someone said that before me. LOL.)

I kid you not but I literally burst into tears reading this. I too struggle with criticism, rejection, low confidence. I recently did not make it into a prestigious juried show. Somehow, I was able to move on because I know I am a good painter and my fine art has been validated in other ways. I rarely apply for those shows, so I find other venues. BUT I have been especially challenged by rejection lately in that I have simultaneously been pursuing work as a scenic artist- that is, as a painter for Film and TV. Talk about rejection! I recently cried all weekend after being let go from a movie crew. But everybody has an opinion and they will all be different. I guess that this tough stuff is steeling me in that I can deal with feedback about my fine art and take it or leave it. Switching gears from one art form to another is also refreshing me so that I can paint for myself, not worrying about opinions of others, and coming up with fresh ideas. Kind of. Still hurts. Hey, I myself am a work in progress. marilynmuller.com

What a totally wonderful letter this is, Robert. Thank you so much. Since Buggg is in all of us it speaks to to all of us. Much appreciation for your letters and your continuing generosity.

Thank you Robert! After reading it 3 times before I drift off to to sleep – think I’ve got it! Something tells me my work is about to change.

This is scary and could actually happen if we stay on the road we’re on. Lord help us is all I can say.

feeling rejection is nothing more than the ego~ meditation is steady stability… breathing in and out, focus,freedom~ Creating empties & fills the Soul, same way as breath for the Spirit, children’s honesty, moon’s waxing and waning and stars breathing Light!

I have always enjoyed viewing all your artists’ works,- with your and their comments. This time, however, I felt I must write to disagree with the artist who said that art must have a social impact. I think of art in the same way I think of music. …it should be mostly there to ENJOY– sometimes lightly, and sometimes deeply, but mostly freely!

Every painting I do is going to fall short. The tough part about the artists’ journey is that is that in the end it is ALL up to you. You have wear a number of hats whether it be stern critic, encouraging coach, therapist or cheerleader. It is when you give these important jobs over to others that the problems begin. You have to put on your armor and build up what you refer to as the ego-force. You are then the only person who can deflate you, but are also able to pat yourself on the back when it is needed. You can’t paint to please someone else as this artist does. Painting for others puts you at the mercy of the fickle nature of people. The only way to survive is to take charge.

One of the things that feed my Buggg is being asked to teach art to children. I teach music and for that I have the proper training but I have no training in art other than workshops and working under other artists. I love children and working with them but I am having trouble finding successful art projects that can be constructed in a 2 hour class and also that have been labeled for age appropriateness. I have just been winging it for the last few years but I would really like some guidance and structure so that Buggg would leave the pit of my stomach alone! There are lots of craft resources but I am looking for art. Do you have any online web sources/ideas you can share? Do you know of a good Art project book that will help inform and develop early teens?

I have been working professionally in glass since 1978, supporting my habit and myself very nicely, even winning prizes from time to time. Nonetheless, whenever I take a class, even now, after all these years, and at the age of 71, I still get tremendous performance anxiety when I take a class in any type of art. It takes me about three days of being petrified and blocked until I finally give in and just let things happen without worrying about my worthiness. The classes, even though they are scary at the beginning, have always resulted in a jolt that can take me up one more step in my creativity. “Life’s like a movie; write your own ending. Keep believing; keep pretending.” Jim Henson

If Buggg continues to interfere, one session with a clinical hypnotist to enable the removal of the imprint where Buggg got its foothold should be enough to bury Buggg –the cost should be less than the value of one small painting (between $50 and $200, depending on rural south or NYC). Your making Kristen aware of Buggg might do it, but, if not, self-hypnosis taught in an initial session should.

In reading this week’s letter about the girl who let rejection stop her from painting for 7 years, several thoughts went through my head. My first thought was that if an artist allows fear to own their skill and talent, then growth is really next to impossible simply because they can’t or won’t take criticism, good or otherwise. But I do understand how rejection can stop a person cold. It hurts to be rejected plain and simple. Life is filled with various forms of rejection, but that doesn’t mean that a person stops living. If that happened every time rejection showed up, half the amazing things we all take for granted in the world wouldn’t exist. I remember the first time my work got rejected. It was at a gallery whose owner had agreed to look at my work. I was all excited. I was young and it went straight to my head….the gallery owner and another artist friend of mine, at the time, decided that I should redo all my work in the gallery owner’s style and my artist friend should pick out the colors. Talk about getting kicked in the gut! It wasn’t just rejection but it was telling me that my skill and talent wasn’t worth anything! I was livid when I left. But being an artist in my bones, I kept painting, and kept drawing and kept going. I’ve destroyed my own work. I’ve taken old paintings and cut them into smaller pieces so I could use the back side to make new paintings and drawings because there was no money to buy new paper. I’ve had three one woman shows in my art journey and have art in a several states and a few foreign countries. But for the successes I’ve had I’ve faced more rejection and more crappy opinions of what I honestly believed was really good work. It’s all part and parcel of being an artist. It takes courage to keep going on the artist’s road. It takes a thick skin and it takes a love for art that goes to your bones. I’ve told more people to be honest when they look at my work because stroking my ego does nothing for me or my art. If they don’t like it, oh well. They don’t like it. The reality is, art isn’t about the shows, it isn’t about getting into a gallery or the people turning an artist into a rock star, it’s about the act of creativity and the driving need to do it. The old saying “if you can’t stand the heat, get out of the kitchen” applies here. If you can’t deal with how hard the road is, go find another road.

I think this fear of rejection comes from the way things are in the world today. We see our governments both in the US and Canada, doing things we don’t agree with, like spending our precious tax dollars on stupid wars they can never win, and yet we say nothing. We have a fear mentality in North America. I hate to think that it would stop us from painting. I once did a slightly political painting and a woman said to me – you will never sell that!! – thanks a lot, I did. you just have to ignore the naysayers and go for it. I have only once put a painting in a gallery. I live in a creative community on a small island and we help each other.

The best way to not be petrified of rejection I know is to first and foremost love what you do! If you have done this you are already satisfied. Secondly, know and truly understand that not everyone likes everything and understand how your work affects the viewer. I know people who dislike Picasso and some who only like parts of his work. Feel this in your bones, feel this in your soul. Understand your work too, I often see artists make, especially dark brooding message art and not understand why people don’t want to live with it on their walls – some is even very good and I may even want it in a book on my bookshelf, but not surrounding me daily influencing my mood. If you don’t understand your work and how it may affect the viewer, quite simply you have some work to do. Third, make sure you are financially in a position that you have what you need to live and enjoy life. Be brutal about this, follow the financial guidelines for other self employed entrepreneurs, things like 1 years expenses – everything food, shelter, entertainment, healthcare etc in the bank, 2-3 years of progressive income build before CHOOSING to stake everything on art as your primary source of income. If you are so insulated – a) You love what you do, b) You KNOW not everyone will like your work and understand how and why people react to it, and c) you are financially secure you can thank people for not enthusiastic responses to your work, and you may even be able to objectively listen to what they say and take it as constructive criticism or just let it roll off your back. Your supporters you can cherish and love – but you’ll probably learn more from the critics than the fans. Fans can easily trap you into repeating yourself and not growing.

I signed up for a correspondence art school and was given constructive criticism. I finished with an A-. My teachers were all Famous Artists.

I just wanted to add my two cents to the problem of rejection. I too, went through the agonies of hell with rejection. What I have discovered is the rejection is like a blister which you get when you do something overly strenuous. It hurts like the devil, but with more doing, you form callus to protect the area from the rub or what ever is causing the blister. Once the callus has formed, no more pain. Unfortunately I know of no way to get a callus without the pain first. Artists are so soft and vulnerable at the beginning of their careers that the pain is often so debilitating, they stop painting or doing whatever their art is. It is good to look back over the 50 years of my art career, and remember that the first 10 or so years were so painful that I am not sure how I managed the rejection/pain. I finally started using this motto for the times I am rejected, “I have been kicked out of better shows/places than this one.” It helps put things in perspective and helps me keep my callus.

I experienced the same rejection at art college. I was overwhelmed by the criticisms of the tutors and stopped painting. It took me years to believe that I was good enough to paint or that I was qualified to paint. The only way was to just keep painting. But it is very difficult to show your paintings at the risk of having them rejected. I still don’t see myself as a “real” artist whatever that is!

I had Buggg hanging on until I realized I was in the wrong gallery. Sales went to Abstract and Contemporary Art. I was devastated and angry because my realistic paintings were not selling and then I realized I was in the wrong gallery. Choosing your Galleries with “like” art is a no-brainer and maybe most artists know this. In my eagerness, I didn’t. Do not be too eager to join a gallery that does not fit. Give BUGGG THE BOOT.

Today’s letter really touched me! Good for you Kristen and yes all artist’s have to get beyond the bugggs – keep on being creative it is the thing that keeps the planet spinning !

By persistently pursuing your creative work, you attain stability and liberation, while your Buggg becomes petrified. I think it realizes its ineffective state. Once in a while it may give another try here and there, when you hit a rough patch, but essentially the artist can see its tricks too easily by then and it only serves to point out how much healthy growth has occurred overtime. Cheers to all who have overcome the debilitation of the Buggg ! The time has come for civilization to evolve beyond it as well.

Rejection is really good for your soul if you use it to push harder, not worry about what others think and say. Create for you and love what you do! Also remember it is just one person’s opinion. Keep working!

No one mentioned to Kristen that her work is wonderful. Loose, colorful, so painterly. I say, go big…..”You can’t ignore big.” I’m guilty too, so can’t advise. Deep down, though, I know I have something that makes me think I’m not doing what I’m supposed to unless I’m making art. And I know not everyone has that need.

No one but you knows whether or not the piece succeeded. I stopped entering shows where I did not know the judges credentials and background. I have found each judge will judge from their level of information. If they have no knowledge of oil painting then why on earth would you enter an oil painting. Create, seek knowledge, drink deeply of the creative life and enjoy.

Rejection seems to be most difficult to accept by the novice artist. Once you earned your credentials rejection no longer affects you as much. Go with the flow and learn from the experience.

Ahhh, “Buggg”! He rears his head just to annoy us. Thanks for the reminder we have defeated him; even when he pops back into our lives at various stages!

I was just speaking with an artist friend the other day about art show rejections. I likened it to being in shape. When walking up a steep hill, you are out of breath at the top, but the better shape you are in, the faster you recover. Same as entering shows. Of course you will be disappointed, it is a normal reaction, but its the recovery that is important. So, feel the rejection, catch your breath and get on with the next.

Don’t give damn was these so called critics say. They are mostly failed artists themselves and love to pontificate with little idea of what the artist is trying to project in his/her own way. Take heart from the fact that Van Gogh sold but one painting in his life. He painted for the pleasure and angst it often gave him. Now look at what they say! As Robert says, it is better to be a loner and immerse yourself in your own pleasures. Making art is a lonesome business. Enjoy your efforts. Forget the masterpiece and do your own thing.

I think that we have some very useful tools in our emotional toolbox to deal with rejections, but maybe they are not so obvious. How about spite? Or perhaps anger? Any emotion that springs you into action will do, just take initiative! And be good to your ego, don’t try to stifle it as some suggest. A healthy ego will know how to deal with rejection. I wish you best of luck!

Dear Robert, I don’t think there is a sadder saying in the world than “It might have been”. How sad that this artist will not pursue their passion for painting. There is nothing said that an artist is any less of an artist if they do not show or pursue the path of marketing or selling their works. If this artist is good, people will respond to it and will want to buy it out of their studio. Galleries are a business and simply put, a stepping stone between the artist and the buyer. Often they are two steps below the used car salesman. But there are some really good and caring dealers out there who carefully select artists and paintings so that the rest of the world can enjoy them. Rejection is part of life, personally and professionally. But it is how an artist chooses to respond that makes the difference. If they have low expectations, then they will never be disappointed. Studying and knowing a thing or two about art history is one thing, to be a painter and live a passion is a rare thing in this world. It should never be squandered. John Ferrie

We have a local show where the show management culls the submissions prior to the arrival of the guest juror. Local notables always survive this pre-judging. To be fair, so does some good work by unknowns. However, the show management reports to a director who has a personal interest in photography, so an ucharacteristically large portion of photographic submissions survive the pre-judging, and inevitably find their way into the show. The jurors statements are often that he or she wants to represent what’s current in the region. Photography, apparently. I have a good idea where my work stands relative to the professional standards of the area. Among landscapists– who almost never succeed in the high end shows, but sell otherwise– I’m somewhere in the middle of the pack as far as quality goes. However, my sales have been weak by comparison with that middle pack. I’ve noticed– and it’s been brought to my attention– that when my work in the galleries is next to that of someone who has a track record commercially (meaning, is better known) that even their weaker work will sell more readily. Actually, I don’t find this as depressing as it might be. I’d like to support my efforts, but I have a day job, and someday someone will hang some of my paintings, and will take them from home to home, despite having no idea who I am or where I went to school or which workshops I attended. I know this, and so am able to go about the effort of showing and selling without pumping up hopes for the result. I save consideration of results for the actual work of painting, and then it’s a pleasure, and rarely frustrating.

I expect to be rewarded for my efforts, which include, a classical art education, long experience, and great painting. That’s what I offer, and that’s what the client pays for. I see no value in hiding my substantial background in education, success in juried shows, gallery and museum representation, and sales record from the market. This information is made available as is my use of the best possible archival materials, so a prospective client understands exactly what he’s getting.

Why don’t we paint a Buggg that we have in our mind for ourselves and then when we look at it a short while and paint right over it – and make a gorgeous picture over the top of it – a symbol of taking care of that Buggg – wonder how many different paintings would turn up of each person’s Buggg.

Robert this is great stuff. I am sending it to my girls soccer team… some of them are full of Buggs!

Just watched your clickback of István Sándorfi. It is quite moving work, exquisitely haunting and expressive….WOW! Thank you for all you do.

Realizing~ “The reason we paint”….giving the goodness which gains in richness is so valuable towards our GOAL in preserverance. Does the “roots” reach beneath the soul of epectation of..popularity? Towards acceptablity in what is popualar at the time…..the mass is doing it~ so it M U S T be WORTH considering. Nothing, will diminish our V A L U E if we truely have this down. Always each step will be a stepping stone towards fruitation of V A L U E to reap it’s own reward in time. And….really, if WE each… K N E W….who held the reward of our efforts in any encounter…..the blessing would be …L O S T! If it is within Us to such a L E V E L of unselfish enrichment…truely We have a… G I F T…appreciation will follow.

Exceptional skills depicting the body and human condition, however, I do not find the work soul uplifting.

The female form with the menstrual pad over one eye really bothers me, then there is: blindfolded,and: no forearms….how many things can you do with a (submissive) female form….why do female nudes always have to look downtrodden …is it because artists of the past could only find prostitutes to take their kit off? Good brush technique…

And what about rejection from those competitions sponsored by Artist Magazine, Watercolor Magazine, and Pastel Journal where almost 5,000 artists spend their money to compete? All of them are pre-judged by the staffs of the sponsoring organizations with only a relative few actually being submitted to the advertised judges. Most entrants have no idea how few that number is. They anxiously wait for the verdict and have no idea that it wasn’t really the judge who rejected them.

The featured slide show paintings are very skilled and interesting but I find them a little disturbing and misogynistic.

I wrote a lot of poetry as a child, even was taken to other classes in my elementary school to recite a few. Then my 7th grade English teacher pronounced one of my epics a “doggerel.” After I looked up the meaning of the word I didn’t write another poem until some free verse in college. Thankfully, I am finally back to my rhyming!

I agree with others here that the featured slide show is quality work, but it doesn’t move me and seems stuck in the past. Re: submissions, I applied to 12 grad schools for an MFA and was rejected by all. I found out later that you must know someone. Too bad they didn’t put that on the application so we don’t waste the time and money. College is really questionable sometimes.

His work is phenomenal figurative realism, but his soul seemed tortured. The figures become ghostly, downtrodden, oppressed, violated almost, spiritually deprived to the brink of starvation and ripped to pieces. The only painting that looked to have peaceful satiation was with the man and woman. The quality of his work is wonderful and I like the Fechin-like abstract approach to his broad brushstrokes to finish off the piece. He was a great painter absolutely.

Simply brilliant! It’s long been a mystery to me why we continue to revere the traditional ‘Masters’ other than their innovation at that time, but the imagination, technical ability and sheer force of his painting suggest he and many others like him in all corners of the globe are right up there with the very best of them. It makes me wonder why I bother with my own dull efforts in the face of such mastery.

I love his pictures, a nude is a nude, the ones cover in blankets and sheete or other wise are more fascinating, the tones of the skin is just marvellous

So is your belief that you evolved from a monkey? I was created from the breath of our Heavenly Father, created for love and greatness, he loves us so much that he created his son to come down on earth to teach us of his love by cleansing us of our sins of foolishness by him choosing to suffer and die so we can be forgiven and cleansed of our sins. God loves us so, we just have to believe and trust in him to take care of us for ever, even into eternity. If this offends you I do not apologize because Jesus is Lord of all of us in the whole world for ever. Just call out to Jesus and ask him to show you himself, that he is Lord and loves you unconditionally.

What a fasinating body of work, I was totally blown away!

Buggg….reminds me of the ‘Jung shadow’….google it…..it’s so important for artists to learn about….

this was the most inspiring exhibit that I have seen lately . Thankyou Robert.

Recently I have noticed that art institutions seem to look at what you say about your work more than the work itself. As for rejection, it always stings, but you grow thicker skin by continuing to make your art as you see fit.

I really dislike these paintings by Sandorfi. They smack of stereotype, of violence against women (and men).

At first I watched and dismissed realism as figurative painting from ‘how to paint nudes’ from the 70’s. But as I watched I was drawn in, taking time to appreciate the skill in execution and as it evolved the abstraction and myth developed, taking me elsewhere.