Male Answer Syndrome

Fabrication….that’s the key. I always wondered, now i know.

Well, why sap green?

We know, already. Nothing new here. However, some people like me, ask anyway just to see how deep the moron will go into the BS. When I still had a soon to be ex. and after an hour or so of listening carefully to his monotonous ‘shovelling’, I would finally respond: “So you don’t know”… and watch his brain explode. Useful in verifying my assumptions about him. When I want to know something now, I save time by look it up, or asking an expert or two, to find out the truth, or options. Much less frustrating. Armed with good info, I’ll make up my own mind, or change it as practical. …sigh!

B.S. baffles brains. (Ok. Ok, maybe not you and me…) ‘Twas ever thus.

I would never buy into that for a single second. My own strengths in communication, drive and ambition are more connected to my temperament than my gender. I deliberately defy any perceived boundary on female roles as a traveler, adventurer, athlete and painter. Women who step out and just paint without asking, without waiting for all the answers, without having a perfect route always rank higher in the arts. Timid just doesn’t cut it. Consider the broad spectrum of successful women who have this is their work..whether in the arts, politics or business.

What you’re calling “Male Answer Syndrome” is the key to being an artist. After all, don’t most of us make art because it is a way to make something up out of nothing but your imagination and whatever input from reality that you choose to put in? You, and only you, determine what goes into your art. Then you show it to others; you make it real to them. Women are often taught that this is egomaniacal and presumptious. It is, but so is art! It’s when BS drives reality to the exclusion of observation, ethics and logic that the problems start.

A good read Bob! You may have nailed it. Maybe men enjoy preening their feathers in public places with both words and paint.

It’s the testosterone, not MAS.

No- it’s the estrogen- I’m sorry- but as a male in a female medium- there’s just as much BS there as anywhere…

I think you hit it here. While women are just as capable of slinging the bull, it’s a guy thing. It goes right along with not asking for directions.

Your comments led me to think that there needs to be a subtitle to your subject called the “last word syndrome.” Both of these people in my life that brought this syndrome to the surface, are extremely intelligent, but rather shy about their art work. I also do not think this syndrome is singular to the art world but in daily life between two people. Are they hacking away at the “pedestal” they seem to put one on? We have a world of facts at our fingertips and it seems that so many are now “the last word” smartipants and want to exhibit it but lack the ability to verify their own art endeavors.

Good One Robert! I was fortunate to have a grandfather that had a Master’s Degree in “BS-ology” and I used to love watching him hone his craft! It’s all a part of the dance (as long as you don’t hurt anyone in the process!:)

Hahaha — looks like someone is a fan of the “Red-Green Show” those three little words that men hate to say . . .

“This is alarmist. But women must remind themselves that if a man tells them something particularly interesting, there is a good chance that it is untrue.” (Jane Campbell)” There is also a good chance that it was first coined by a woman! And that it might also be true!

Wow, thank you Robert for my laugh of the day. I love it. “men are riding to the top…on ever-building crests of baloney.” Tongue-in-cheek undoubtedly, but just wonderful, and somewhat true in my opinion.

It goes like this in my world. 1. FQS — wife not saying anything (silence). 2. MAS — me saying something (hopefully not egotistical). 3. FIS — Female Interruption Syndrome (my wife starts correcting me, then slowly joins the conversation).

It is a rare person who can objectively lay aside all preconceived gender stereotypes. We try. We really do. But one memory keeps returning to my mind I cannot shake: I once saw an elderly couple walk to their table in a restaurant. Him leading, her following. As they passed our table the man said, “I may have been wrong once. But I doubt it.” The look on that woman’s face spoke volumes.

I was taught a long time ago, “If you can’t dazzle ’em with brilliance, then baffle ’em with bullsh*t.”

Shortly after reading the original article by Jane Campbell mentioned in “Male Answer Syndrome” we were astounded to experience a full blown example of the same from our 7 year old nephew. He is now a wonderful, successful adult who works for the U.S. Government. My husband and I try to remember, and have told our children, that because a statement is said with strength and confidence (by either man or woman) it is not necessarily wrong. But check on it anyway!

I got to substitute teach at the Art Students League here in New York last night, and one student thanked my profusely for my help. She said the male teachers just told her where she had screwed up, but with me it was more like a interweaving conversation (her drawing turned out very nice). 18 years of working with cancer patients makes you find the positive in whatever folks are doing and encouraging things that bring out the best in the work, and what gives it life. I had a blast.

As a woman growing up it was my experience that men (including my kind father) would often ignore my questions which made me feel stupid or invisible. Later, I insisted on answers from my husband and realized that if he didn’t know an answer he just ignored the question. Sometimes I think the question stirred a part of the brain that men never use. This comment is generalizing, of course. There are men I know that are articulate or who will answer because I persist, and my husband now has no problem answering with ‘why would you ask that question?’

Sometimes I can’t believe the elaborate, boring, and highly improbable explanations some men keep churning out masqueraded as competency, just in order to be heard. Same thing with meaningless never ending questions from some women, especially the ones with very audible high-pitch voices. One good thing about all that is that a careful listener will easily differentiate fools in the crowd.

I have always thought that women see things in a hundred shades of gray and men see things in black and white. While we are busy contemplating and considering things men are maybe more straightforward in their approach. When women share problems with each other I think we often want to commiserate. Men on the other hand are more geared to fix the problem and are frustrated by the fact that we seem to just want to talk around the issue. Because men have this need to offer a solution is why they seemingly always have answer. I know when I have asked my husband for an opinion, he thinks about it, gives his opinion and moves on. I on the other hand seem to second guess myself and think about the endless possibilities. If you apply this to art maybe men are more single minded and more decisive in their approach. While women are busy exploring all of the options.

Ha Ha Ha! That was good! Details maybe when I have more time.

Thanks for another great letter. It completely explains why doctors treat women like hypochondraics!

My ex husband, may he rest in peace, used to say, “If you can’t impress them with fact, dazzle them with bullshit”.

‘Coming from a family of girls, it took me some time to see through my former husband’s tendency toward exaggeration. He would even go one step further when he needed time to contemplate an answer. He would simply come back with another question! Hampton, VA

Absolutely marvelous, I think I may have even exhibited some of this behavior myself. I’ve observed the more interesting the female asking the question the thicker the baloney is sliced. Have a great day

Somehow building a world based on baloney does not appeal to me… smells like politics. But that is from a female perspective.

That was a pretty insightful letter; I’d never thought about who does the questioning, and who does the answering. Especially in terms of how men and women view questions and answers. I am of two minds on this subject. Workshops are one thing; if I’m going to pay money for someone to teach me some art techniques, then asking questions is a good way to get my money’s worth. But when it comes to asking questions in general — especially the deeper ones, other people aren’t necessarily going to know what’s best for me when it comes to my own creative vision. There is only one place for me to go in that case: inquire within. My journal has the most satisfactory answers for the really tough questions. Austin TX USA

That is so funny! You summed that up perfectly and hit the nail right on the head. I have often wondered myself how my husband, Bob, knows so much about everything. I swear I have never known a man who can talk about any subject and swear he knows everything about it. I’ve knocked him down a few notches in our 17 year marriage and it has been hilarious to see him cowl up in a chair with a scowl on his face. My father used to say “we’re all full of BS.” As a matter of fact, he was tempted to put initials for everyone in the family on the door to his office – HS (Horse-sh…) BS, MS (More sh…) – you get the picture. Every time my husband starts in on a diatribe of knowledge, I just sit back and listen to him pound his chest. Although, I find it interesting that much of the time, he really does know what he is talking about. Therefore, maybe he suffers from MCAS, or Male Correct Answer Syndrome.

You left my husband and me laughing hysterically into our morning cereal. He has a major case of MAS, especially when it comes to evaluating my art. Now I know that I need a bigger knife to cut through his baloney and perhaps some good mustard to eat with it. PS I plan to beef my baloney so I can play with the big boys.

I’m not sure if it is because I grew up with 4 sisters but I’m a firm believer in the “I don’t know” answer. I’ve often heard that it is better to try to answer every question, but “I don’t know” saves time. LOL I’m sure I have a few sticks of baloney up my sleeve for the needed occasion. I do keep a pair of waders handy for all the bull that flows around me. Which I’ve noticed runs like a river through the art world. It’s great to have a limb to grab onto as in your letters. Thanks Robert,

I was just discussing this dilemma with some artist friends about the disproportionate amount of men drifting to the top as artists, considering there are SO many women trying. This is definitely food for thought. I also think when men ‘deem themselves an artist’, they are 100% convinced (baloney as you say), whereas women on the other hand almost never get around to making the announcement to themselves or others. Our skills and worthiness must first be acknowledged by others (men full of baloney). Could it be said, Baloney makes the world go round? Kathy Shahan: An absolutely incredible artist, no baloney.

‘Is there a god ‘ is a male construct that women really couldn’t care less about.

Could an MFA silence a MAN with MAS?

An friend of mine who is a group trainer on male-female issues once told me that she would instruct the women in a workshop to only make statements for an entire day, and the men were to make no statements, only ask questions. At the end of the day the men were exhausted and women were energized and empowered.

You had me worried – and then I read to the end and decided – its not a bad thing for a girl to identify strongly with MAS – “my baloney has a first name – and it’s mine”. But it seems to be harder for the men to take when we’re not needful of their baloney ’cause we’ve got our own.

MFAs, BAs and PHDs are even more likely to be bamboozled by MAS.

I just emerged from a week-long workshop with a very successful artist. The training and overall workshop was excellent; however, it was very obvious to me that I was the oldest, the least experienced, and the least talented — and a woman. Those women who spoke up, asking all the questions, who were young and pretty did receive the attention. As well, I just received a phone call from my weekly painting teacher (a success in her own right) who was not accepted into a recent competition. Her work was truly amazing. She was saying that sometimes it seems that it’s a “mens’ club” with all the judges being men and that their preferences stand stalwartly as they review new work. She suggested that perhaps those contestants who are accepted one year should not be allowed to compete the following year. I am very dedicated to this honest pursuit and will not give up. Neither will my exceptional teacher! We both are recovering from our own challenges of the past week. We will win one of these days!

I do not know where Jane Campbell is from, likely Venus or some part of outer space, Butu she has never had the good fortune to ask my wife a question!!

“In some cases it may be on ever-building crests of baloney.” You ABSOLUTELY cracked me up with this line this morning…AND explained something I’ve been wondering about for a long long time! (Why there are so many successful male artists…I thought it was just because they usually had a good woman backing them up and willing to cook, clean, work, support, raise the kids, schedule his shows, workshops, etc. while he went to studio everyday!) Many thanks for the great look at ourselves and our assumptions! Merced, CA

I remember it as “False Expert Syndrome.” I, like most men, suffer the ravages, but in my case I may add some real information to what you have quoted. I am currently writing a book on evolutionary theory, and part of my research shows that men, as hierarchical beings see any display of weakness as offering a potentially life-threatening vulnerability to other males. That is why men, like most hierarchical primates, try to show no vulnerability, avoid visiting doctors and withhold feelings from others. For males, access to females and mating depends on the position in the social hierarchy, so that is the key adaptation. jkuti@sympatico.ca

When my wife asks me a question she gets an encyclopedic answer with everything I know or do not know, about the subject. When I ask her a question I get the in-depth history of the situation, how it came about and everyone involved whether it pertains to the question or not. Some of us just like to communicate.

This is brilliant. I have your book of the complete letters. It is so filled with so many valuable insights. I looked around in it for evidence of MAS, but there are few. You just seem to be curious about all things artistic. Good going.

Every time I delve into your book collection of bi-weekly letters, which has a permanent place now on my breakfast table, I feel grounded, reassured, informed and inspired. I also have a feeling that I am in possession of a classic, a very big classic–in fact a major work — that will be my life-long companion. I’m so glad you are continuing with your letters. They’ll make a great supplement some day! Minneapolis, Minnesota

I think artwork needs to be submitted to competition in the same manner the NY Symphony (I believe) tryouts are done. Blind. A curtain is drawn across the stage, the musician walks to a seat or instrument center stage, and begins playing. The film clip I watched noted one woman wore athletic shoes instead of allowing the telltale click of heels to indicate her gender. Likewise, place a mask over the artist’s signature of a painting and have the artists gathered in another room until judging is over. Sorry, but men just haven’t experienced this kind of discrimination. It must be an amazing thing to be evaluated purely by your ability. Male preference is sometimes peculiar: “pretty and petite” is often dismissed as fluff when a less attractive woman (regardless of profession) is considered serious about her work. You can’t win.

In Neanderthal days men were valued by women for their size, strength and hunting prowess. Now things are different and they have to rely on their brains. This is the root of the problem.

Men are from Mars, women are from Venus, generalizers are from Uranus. One of my favorite Simpsons lines: Marge says, “you’re fom Mars and I’m from Venus, Homey. ” He whines in reply, “oh sure, give me the one with all the mooonsters!”

I tried twice to answer this letter, RG – then I decided, “I don’t know if I can speak to this, and I didn’t.” I find it is better to save my breath up for when I am drowning, and not use it all on superficial quests I have not sincerely made (and I do ask for directions when I lost on the path – But I make sure the advice given – comes to me eye to eye!)… BMM

I don’t think the whole ‘baloney’ and MAS thing really gives guys that much of an advantage, in fact, it seems more like a weakness in the long run. From what I’ve seen, females do ask a lot of questions and they tend to be honest about their level of knowledge. Men tend to b.s. their way through stuff a lot more without fully understanding something. Sometimes b.s.ing surprisingly works, especially when you’re first trying something for the first time. I remember when I took my male cousin skiing with me for his first time and I was amazed with how well he did by just pretty much just skiing straight down the hill with very little fear; he didn’t care at all about the nuances of skiing. My female friends that I’ve taken with me on their first trips never faired so well. They have to figure out every step, every motion before they feel confidant enough to let them selves just ‘let go’ like that. It could take them several weeks worth of trips to ski as well as my male cousin did in just one day. My cousin though, despite having such a huge advantage in the beginning, has never developed any real skill in skiing, whereas a couple of my female friends who stuck with it are well beyond him now. Both my parents have been skiing for most of their lives, but my mother is the unquestionably better skier. It really is a beautiful sight to see her carving curves down a mountain slope. My father is a competent skier, even a really good skier, but he has none of my mother’s grace or level of skill, and it’s very apparent to any experienced skier watching them. My mother though, is one of the most intense questioning women I know. Any time she’s faced with a new task, she always stinks at it in the beginning, asking endless questions, terrified of attempting anything wrong; but if she has a knowledgeable teacher, she’ll eventually become best in the class, given enough time. She doesn’t allow herself to learn bad habits, making her the best student in the long run, even if you’d never guess it by watching her in the beginning. Personally, I think the reason why more women haven’t managed to reach the highest rankings in the art world has more to do with our nurturing tendencies and the ‘old boys club’ phenomenon then the whole ‘MAS’ thing. Most women seem to end up with children, and most husbands are not the primary care giver, or even equal care givers, even if both are working parents. The primary care most often falls on the women, even in today’s world. And even if women don’t have children, sometimes just looking after a husband can be a full time job. Nurturing takes up so much time and energy, women don’t have much energy or time left over to spend on themselves after. Women have instincts to nurture due to the intense levels of oxytocin in their blood that males just don’t have. You can google “tend-and-befriend” to read all the new science on the phenomenon. Basically, what this describes is how women deal with stressful situations. Men have the standard “fight-or-flight” response, where as women will have some of those hormones mitigated by the oxytocin in their blood. Instead of fighting or fleeing, they’ll ‘tend’ to their young or anyone else stuck in the situation with them, and then they’ll ‘befriend’ anyone they can, trying to form as many connections and allies as possible. I think its’ this desire to understand and befriend others that makes women such intense questioners when they are learning something new. They have to understand completely where as men just have to fight through it or forget it and leave it. And then there’s the ‘old boy’s club’ working against women, and I think that’s the thing keeping women back the most. I am currently attending a college that has an overwhelmingly male student body (it’s a school for computer animation). In my current class of thirty, I’m one of only three females. Girls at our school don’t ask that many questions. We tend to stay silent and only ask questions on a one on one basis with the teacher. The reason for this is that if you ask a lot of questions, all the males in the class will assume that you know nothing. Every time I ask a fellow student a question and it’s a male, suddenly I have a tutor that I didn’t want and wasn’t asking for. Just one question that if a guy had asked another guy would elicit a simple response turns into a two hour tutoring session if I ask it. It’s quite annoying. Guys love to teach girls. That’s the conclusion I’ve come to. I guess it makes them feel big and macho or something. It stinks too because you can’t be rude to them and tell them to get lost, or tell them that you only wanted one question answered because then you’ll become known as a b****. But these guys would never consider lecturing a fellow guy the way they are completely willing to lecture us girls. It’s just all part of the ‘boys club’ thing and that guys, despite what feminists have done for our society so far, still have a hard time of viewing females as actual competition or equal peers. So in conclusion to this long rant, I don’t think the whole ‘MAS’ thing is really what’s holding women back in the art world.

Kristen, your post was long but entirely pertinent. I think you boiled the whole thing down nicely. And to those who keep talking about “evolution” and male/female roles as if they were inate: the wide variation of gender roles and characteristics in the cultures of the world demonstrates that too often we in western cultures assume that ours are universal. Nope.

Kristen I enjoyed reading your thoughts and musings. Love the way you need to work things out. Don’t forget to add humour into the mix so that when you hit that brick wall, you won’t become disheartened.

I am curious whether other women have observed in a meeting, attended by mostly men, a woman will receive a ‘glance’, not a pleasant one, for asking questions or offering a solution of her own design, that is, not one a man presented? Maybe this is a ‘Southern’ thing, but I’ve observed this in the US, in a place where it appears women are merely decorative or reproductive rather than appreciated for their intellect.

Women artists need to know when FQS mode is useful in moving them forward with their art, and when it holds them back. When I take a workshop, I go to learn specific skills or techniques and I do not hesitate to “FQS” all day long. But once I’ve absorbed the information, the best thing to do is shut up and paint. I am frustrated by women friends who hold themselves back from completing art, framing it, and seeking venues to exhibit their work because they are not bold enough to move beyond the questioning phase. I am female but I can be really good at MAS, too. I can spout theories I’ve heard or read on almost any topic you’d like to ask me about. But theories are nothing more than hot air. The real deal for me has turned out to be the hard truth learned by experience — I really have to put the theories into practice and actually put the brush to canvas…not just a few times but over and over. Failure and success. When I do that I notice true confidence growing. A confidence that’s unshakable and not empty MAS. Both men and women need to find the balance between underconfidence/overquestioning and overconfidence/BS. Either can provide a starting point, but being open enough to reach in, roll up your sleeves and get your hands right on the problem gets us grounded in the real truth of art.

Since I have been working in a male-dominated industry for many years, I have concluded that there is a way to develop a good working relationship with male colleagues as a female minority. Here is what works well for me. Communicate gently but firmly and always make sure to have exhaustive information to back you up. Be competent and pleasant, but never fearful and never replicate male behaviour. Always call a BS when you notice it, but again in a pleasant way, which leaves the opposite party a way to save face. It’s not difficult as it may sound, at least not on days when my female hormones are not acting up. On those other days I try to work on stuff that keeps my nose down to the grind and not put anyone in harms way. I don’t think that male or female social and business strategies are more or less successful. I think it’s up to how each individual uses them. As to why there are more successful professional males than females, I believe that is because they are forced to set priorities differently throughout their lives. There are many causes for that – biology, culture, social issues, politics, finances, and much more. In places and times where women (and men) have more opportunities and are able to make their own decisions and set priorities, success will be more equally distributed. Long time ago someone told me that the key to success is to keep the best traits of your own, and adopt the best ones that can be learned in the new environment. Sounds trivial and obvious but I keep remembering that often. It seems to work well when I consciously apply the best qualities of being a woman, and some useful social techniques I have learned from my male colleagues. Opposite happens too and usually causes a disaster!

Right on! The “female question syndrome” is really about appeasing the male ego. A taming strategy, of sorts. Its a counter-powerplay. All women know this. And surely someone can come up with a more accurate and catchy name! Come on gals…. BTW, “Male Answer Syndrome” was coined in the 1980’s by a Midland, Texas schoolmate of mine, in fact, named Sam Hurt. It was in his cartoon strip “Eyebeam” published at UT Austin. I’ve been using the term ever since. Please, credit due where credit is deserved! (And he may have credited it to someone else, yet earlier.)

How often have we heard a woman say “She hates me!” We men recognize the exaggeration. Both genders have their ways. I find it mighty interesting. Bob might be catering to the ladies here!

Thank you for providing an understanding of what is happening with a friend who recently lost her husband. When we are walking together, she keeps asking me questions and gets upset when I don’t know the answer. Now I understand. When she walked with her husband, she asked questions, and he always had an answer. I refuse to “make up stuff”. And I imagine he did “make up stuff” to satisfy her need for answers. Longmont, CO

Men are more successful painters than women because they have wives! — partners who look after all the other life-stuff. I think of Mary Pratt, confined to the kitchen while Christopher had all the “fun”; not only did she look after him and the family, but managed to squeeze in painting dinner, etc. I’m sure I’d be a better painter if only I had a house-boy to do all the chores!

Back in 1990 when my son, Daniel, was 6 years old and we were living in minimal English Japan, he asked “What makes earthquakes?” We had just been in a major earthquake in the Philippines. He wasn’t content with the simple answers, and the more info we gave, the more he asked. We combed the libraries in Osaka, but everything was in Japanese, Kanji at that. No, internet as we know it did not yet exist. So, on one of our visits to Vancouver, we bought a set of encyclopedias and brought it back with us to Japan. He could then follow his curiosity through the set til we came back to Vancouver 3 years later. Maybe it was this curiosity for answers that brought him to where he’s at today. While he was at UBC, he started to develop the mind mapping idea in Flash. He was the first grad to have a BSc combination of Cognitive Systems and Visual Arts. Not long after he graduated, he left a full time job to pursue his take on mind mapping. He’s one of the happiest curious persons I know. His company website is www.asterisq.com.

If the precisely correct answer is unknown, often a theoretical answer or hypothesis is helpful.

MAS is often seen in those with CMSD (Chronic Male Stupidity Disorder,) which is pretty close to my primary diagnosis. It is also seen in lost men who insist on finding their way using a map, rather than asking someone, especially a woman.

Is this a honeypot trap for MAS demos from M and F alike ? Turning away: “What is the difference between Ignorance and Apathy?” “I don’t know, and I don’t care!”

This is a sexist trap question and no man can reasonably answer to the satisfaction of the opposite sex. But I’ve been known to go where angels fear to tread so here’s my humble thoughts. Men are hard wired to “speak from the hip first and think later” It was necessary from the moment we stood upright. Can you imagine men having a think session on weather to hunt that bison or not, wondering if they could or would get hurt? It may seem uneducated to some, but due to our physiology, we tend to jump in with both feet before testing the waters because we can stand the impact. Now, understand, much to my embarrassment, I am considered a “domesticated” man even though I like to think of myself as “educated”. In my youth, I was one to shoot my mouth off with little or no knowledge of the subject at hand. Chalk that one up to youthful exuberence. Now looking back, I’ve learned to know from where I speak and think before I act. But this was due more to the combined efforts or more educated men and women with whom I came into contact. I understand the former male syndrome of which we speak, being a male. I like to view it as amusing though with some trepidation. It comes from long ago when it was necessary. Today, we are more civilized and urbane and the need for men to think more is anathema to what men have always been. But there is hope, and with the help of women, and some men, we are coming around if only to stop the constant chatter to do so.