Art and the tiger mom

You are going to get blown out of the water with the comments on this one. Lol.

The attainment of true satisfaction (fun) is the result of hard work and perseverance. To improve and excel at whatever we do should be an unceasing goal.

I can’t wait to hear what comes from this posting. Some discussions are more fun than others!

There are two extremes, the parents who think any discipline imposed on children is akin to abuse and then the ones who honestly believe their children are play dough for them to mould regardless of any individuality of the child. I have no respect for either type of parent and often wonder why the most important job in life (raising children) has no requirements of sanity on the part of parents.

Ms Chau’s child rearing is too extreme but in my 21 years of teaching mainly art in high school, I’ve seen that successful students are happy students. The Asian students knew that it was important to practice a technique to improve their skills while many of the others thought that it was a waste of time and wanted to immediately start on the final product. The Asians had the ability to focus while many of the others wanted to chat and were easily distracted. Most of them did very well and were happy with their results though, of course, about the same number were as gifted as the rest. But I’ve had a number of other talented students who didn’t have the discipline to improve their skills and therefore didn’t achieve what they hoped to. Their potential was wasted and they weren’t happy. The parents of the Asian students were very concerned that their children achieve in order to have a good future and their children respected this. I’ve seen too many overindulged, undisciplined, and unmotivated, and thereby unhappy young people, especially in the last 10 to 15 years, to know that something is very wrong with the way Canadian children are raised and hope the pendulum swings back toward the Asian method of child rearing. Love and discipline have almost always been a winning combination.

I’d settle for my grouchy teenager acknowledging I’m even alive ! and yet I consider her a fine girl with the same rights and privileges as any other human being.

Anyone grow to love teens more, who only remove their cell phone from their ear to give you the finger… and that’s just the girls?

Having taught teenagers at art college and university, undisciplined students were hard if not impossible to motivate. Those students that came from a more disciplined, supportive (though certainly not repressive) background got stuck in, were able to listen, to learn, to express themselves more confidently and skilfully.

Unfortunately, since the time of Einstein everything has become ‘relative’; moral relativity is the norm, art value is now relative, and most any qualitative evaluation assumes the ‘relative to who is doing the evaluation’ framework. I find it amusing that teachers have come under fire in the last decades for ‘merit’ pay, as they assume newer responsibilities for dealing with behavioral and motivational problems, and yet parenting remains the Golden Calf, or perhaps the White Elephant In The Room, that remains untouchable. Why there are no Parenting Academies that expose parents to effective ways of parenting so that we can break the repeating cycles of abuse and ignorance is laughable. Parenting can be improved, it is not inviolate, it is not relative, but it is not politically viable, nor will it garner the support of those who most need it. “No one is going to tell ME how to raise MY children.”

So, everybody — How would you like to be one of those kids for whom everything not forbidden is mandatory? That really bothers me about many kids today — many of them don’t get any time to have unsupervised play unless it’s in front of some kind of screen (TV, computer or game).

There was research done in England some decades ago (I apologize that I can’t remember the name of the research study) on 100 individuals who excelled in life activities. They were Olympic gold medalists, brilliant musicians, dancers, etc. They found they all went through a four stage process to their success. The early stage was PLAY. Children were introduced to the activity in a playful, no stress manner allowing them to engage in the fun of it. After that, if they were truly interested, they continued by taking lessons, followed by a mentorship with a professional. This model makes sense to me because it allows the child to gravitate to their strength with the added desire because it was fun. In the western culture, I believe, parents go overboard and sign their kids up in too many activities all at the same time. Like good food and wine each activity should be savored slowly and one activity at a time.

There’s a (probably apocryphal) story about the 10 Commandments having been offered to many religions who took a look and then turned them down. Then they were offered to the Jews who said, we’ll try them first and then decide.

Balance and moderation.

Balance is more important than excelling at anything. We always seem to forget that we are spiritual beings in this world. Wanting something so bad that you forget to feel is not honoring the spirit we were born with. Balance.

Balance and Moderation assumes a midpoint. That midpoint is what is in question. That midpoint is ‘relative’ to the individual, at the moment. The wino who decides to drink only two bottles of wine instead of four today is exercising some form of balance and moderation. Those who successfully ‘give up’ something for Lent now go back to their balance and moderation. The discipline of the military man, our warriors, fail miserably in the test of balance and moderation. Discipline has its spectrum from smaller dessert portions to entering the convent. Balance and moderation are for those who cannot fathom the discipline necessary to achieve a difficult goal. Balance and moderation applies to one’s life until the will to achieve ‘unbalances’ one’s life toward the desired goal. It is not for everyone, just as everyone has not the will to be a warrior, nor a parent, nor an accountant, nor a CEO, nor a Saint. Whenever the concept of balance and moderation arises, ask yourself where is the midpoint, the fulcrum, for the balance? Asking children to pass standardized testing seems to be causing a lot of stress. Why is that? Because the level of that standard is in question. Some feel it is too low, some feel it is too high. Some feel that all testing lowers self-esteem. The point between Discipline and Balance, an art form indeed.

Once I had an art student from Taiwan who could hardly speak English when he immigrated. He was a spectacular draftsman in 7th grade. I presented him with the art award at the end of the year. In September the following school year, he came to see me early one morning bearing gifts. He said his parents would not allow him to study art any more, that he needed to take more math. I told him I understood and that I felt his parents were watching out for his future interests. But, losing him as a student was regretful.

I am a Canadian born Chinese woman with two kids, ages 14 and 10. I think I understand both the Tiger Mom philosophy and the Western Mom philosphy, which tends to focus on protecting the child’s self esteem and individuality. I strive to take the best of both approaches for my kids. Most importantly, I try (not always successfully) to take the road that is best for my kids and not the road that is easiest for me. We are lucky – both kids are mentally, physically and emotionally strong. Because of this, I push them to meet a standard of excellence for things that I think are important for their futures. I believe that because they are bright and fully capable, they should strive to achieve straight A’s in all school subjects. I clearly tell them that marks less than A are unacceptable and essentially equivalent, for them, to failure. This takes a lot of blood, sweat and tears for everyone. They have be organized, plan ahead, study, review and work. We have the pain of having to do the monitoring, reviewing, checking and nagging when we could instead be relaxing and saying nothing. I wonder if some parents simply find it unpleasant to have to do this much monitoring. We run the risk of pushing our kids so hard that they resent us or feel they are never good enough. We try to manage this by constantly acknowledging every success, celebrating great report cards and telling them they are always loved. I also wonder if some parents would rather not have to take the risk of having their kids be unhappy with them and just want to be “friends” with their kids.

Ah, the Tiger Mom. Harsh discipline can rob an individual of any self motivation: they have no idea what THEY want out of life. Passion? There is none ….

In the US, I think, there is a not uncommon and peculiar idea of social democracy. It leads to the strange notion that all opinions are created equal, which is nonsense. It also leads to the notion that there is something suspect about people whose performance (in almost any arena) is superior. But while this idea is held in abeyance where native born (US) Americans are concerned, it is more obviously simmering near the surface with regard to obvious foreign minorities. [I am not one, by the way.] While no one would suggest that Americans of Asian extraction (to pick one minority) should encourage their children to play video games, slack off their homework, and leave their bedrooms in a shambles, there is (I believe) a largely unspoken but nontheless widespread resentment that such people do not in all ways assimilate to the lowest common denominators in (US) American culture. Thank goodness they don’t. We have all the TV besotted couch potatos we can carry!

Dear Psuedo Tiger Mom,

As kids in my neighborhood we played football in the street sans adults, shot baskets in the driveway sans adults, played marbles on the school ground sans adults, got in snowball fights sans adults, and sometimes fought our own battles sans adults. We made the rules sans adults. That’s not to say we were without adult oversight, but did we ever learn a lot sans adults.

I recently returned from a graduation at Carnegie Mellon University. I knew one graduate well. She achieved top honors in both majors and for both degrees she obtained in the four years there. What I value most about her education from middle school, when I met her, and following is that her parents allowed her to excel at what she was most interested in, encouraging her interests that have now turned into passions. I know there were some tears at times when she wanted to be on the computer instead of finishing her homework and that her parents were pained when she tried something and failed but she learned and learned a lot and her future, Harvard and Cambridge, is promising. The value of hard work was never doubted but respect for her essential character was – Tiger Mom promotes all of her values, her efforts, her pride in lieu of the essential nature of her children. She does not trust them to do well with love and encouragement and does not trust herself to believe in the value of goodness working hand in hand with hard work. Everything I have ever read about Amy Chua and her children and husband is all about her – she is a narcissist whose sole value in life with her kids is about the efforts she has made on their behalf. Their natures? Pmphf! Their desires? Bah! Play? What a waste of time to Amy Chua so, therefore, to her children. Maybe they have achieved a great deal in their individual lives, these kids, but maybe who they are isn’t who they are at all but rather a reflection of what their mother deemed valuable. And Ms. Chua is quite smart, yes? She has made quite a living off of justifying her harsh and intolerant education of her children.

Suzanne, I agree with your position that natures must be taken into account. I would have gone to art school out of high school instead of getting a liberal arts education had my parents taken my true nature into account. But they allowed me to make my own decision, and I made it because I wanted to continue to play football in college. With hindsight I believe this was an immature decision. The principle that many overlook is that children are immature, and puberty or a driving license or an acceptance into a university does not automatically bestow adulthood nor good judgment. Maturity manifests from deeds, the exercising of good judgment under calm and duress, the number of responsibilities under obligation, assimilation into the existing culture, self-sufficiency, etc. Children are not young adults. Even certain adults are not mature. I believe children need boundaries and guidance with respect, as you say, for the expression of their natural proclivities. Unfortunately children come with no Owners Manual. We bring our own varying levels of maturity to the task of parenting, along with our own issues and baggage stemming from the parenting we ourselves received. Many do not view children as autonomous, but as extensions of themselves. Parenting receives help, ie. Dr. Spock, Dr. Phil, Medieval Protestant theology, Wahhabism, etc. Centuries of Generations have come and gone, and yet we still debate the proper manner in which to nurture our children. Either we believe that there is a right way to raise a child, or we believe there are an infinite number of right ways. If the former, why can’t we codify it? If the latter, then Mrs. Chua is as right as anyone. If we believe there are a handful of right ways, then how many are there and what are they? I think parents, if shown examples of loving methods, if given options from which to choose HOW they will raise their children, if shown how to identify a child’s nature, we could break our cycles of ignorance and abuse. If ever there was a justification for social engineering, this would be at the top of my list. Give huge tax breaks for completion of Parenting Academy, which exposes new parents and existing parents to options for handling childrearing in all of its complexities; this is not a dictatorship course, this is an options course. I feel loving parents will opt for the best course of action, allowing for a child’s natural inclinations, but without examples from which to choose, without the education as to why certain methods are desirable, we repeat the mistakes generation after generation. I now understand that I am, and have always been, an artist. I ignored this from the age of 18 until I was 55. I had little occupational guidance but was given values, good judgment, tough love, and the ability to survive as an adult. I am now immersing myself in activities that vibrate with my natural inclinations. Art oozed from me all these years. I wish I had been conscious of my nature, and had been vibrating with conscious delight during the bulk of my life. I wonder if guidance wouldn’t have helped, or if I am enjoying my life more now as a result of what has gone before.

Hard work will never make up for “the gift” of “creativeness” …While the Chinese kids work hard to resolve math exercises, or to to play the piano/violin forced by their parents/teachers ,they lack inventiveness, original thinking, sparkle…These ones cannot be achieved only from hard work: becoming a doctor doesn’t mean you are compassionate, solving some mediocre math problems doesn’t make you a brilliant mathematician or scientist …and playing an instrument correctly doesn’t make you an Arthur Rubinstein.

I think I may have written you before on this but I was an “unschooling” mother and a very accepting parent. Permissive? Absolutely not. Permissive is where a child gets the idea his/her rights and preferences override everyone else’s. My son grew up to be a kind, generous, hard working, thoughtful, loving and financially successful young man. I think both extremes are harmful, no matter how “well intentioned” the parent is. After all, isn’t our own integrity worth something? Do these kids have any life of their own?

Much food for thought on this one and your Esoterica hit the nail on the head.

Interesting, but overkill.

Freedom~

Have you got to the point where one of her daughters has a breakdown and runs away screaming at her tiger mom?

I have to say that it does probably as much good as harm. Instilling a sense of discipline and regime for learning and applying yourself Is good. I’m struggling learning Japanese because I don’t have that hardwired tendency to sit down and study. Case and point: I’m answering this email instead of doing it :)

The early Greeks practiced “everything in moderation” and they did pretty well. It wouldn’t hurt if both we and the Chinese had a look at this.

I taught for 34 years and saw first hand the damage lack of discipline does to the learning process in children. While undisciplined children can’t learn, I think that Miss Chua greatly exaggerated the list of don’t for her children. Wonder if she ever let them take time to be creative?

Amy Chua inspires me to scream, to throw paint around, to make a big mess. To have some harmless fun . Afterward, I will be a good girl and brush up on technique and be very diligent and properly reverent, and yes, even respectful of established Chinese wisdom.

Life experiences tells me that this writer is one-sided. Controversy sells. Mothers who believe this biased story is going the wrong path in demanding their kids to be perfect. As an artist-teacher, I have experienced parents holding off their kids from doing art and pulling their kids from creativity in visual arts, but favoring music instead. Although this is happening to some, however, there is a turnover in the next decade to be “creative” with their hands.

I think that we hare getting away from individualism, by all this group “think” and group “do”, children are taught to do things in groups and go along with the group (go along to get along) and find group solutions while different ideas and individual solutions are frowned on. We aren’t taught to be self-reliant we are taught to look to government for all solutions we are taught dependence we are taught fairness in outcomes not fairness in beginnings with no guarantee on outcome (individualism). In fact we are given excuses as to why we can’t do things without government or for ourselves. We are told how to think through political correctness, we see it in movies, in politics, in ads, we see it everywhere. We worship environmentalism, it is our new religion. I think that we could all use a little “tiger mom” in our lives.

I think that children need their Dream-time.

Interesting article, my experience in mainland China is that the art scene is exploding………..check the prices and most are right out there in terms of painting expression!

Oh my, you have touched such a nerve. My art training involved criticism without known goals: we were just “put down”. While that doesn’t work, it seems to me that training within a specific tradition helps some people to learn discipline and technique, but I have come to believe that feedback that focuses primarily on the positive aspects of someone’s work leads to the fastest growth of authentic style and mastery. I try to always point out things that I might change and give the reasons why I would make those changes if it were my work. I clarify that their motives and ultimate vision may be quite different from mine. All this doesn’t get one very far without determination and inner desire for expression. Then again, I’m interested in work that is alive and excellent not rote.

I am certainly not one who is reading “Tiger Mom” but I am fully aware that they exist in America and around the world. Two good points made is they DO excel more than other kids and yes we are too permissive with our children. Dr. Spock got it wrong when he declared we shouldn’t ‘force’ our kids to learn things they would otherwise not bother to learn. “Spare the rod and spoil the child.” ” Idle hands are the devils workplace.” But there is a something else at work here. Culture! We in America are the first “leisure” society in history. Prosperity was so abundant we actually had time…for ourselves to play and not work. I grew up in this quasi-affluent world. We were expected to go to school and eventually get a job, get married and have two point four kids and raise them in a suburb somewhere. The Chinese have been invaded over the centuries and have invaded others and since their culture goes back longer than we here can imagine, there is this built in idea that they should inherit the world. After all they were here first. Americans, with all that means, shouldn’t be at the top of the heap especially after only three hundred years which is a proverbial drip in the bucket of Asian waters. Life has dealt them a bad blow, but of course when you a waring nation, the rest of the world takes offense as we are beginning to learn here. Chinese children come from an oppressed society where you were made to appreciate all they may have. It’s ingrained in them from birth. And the parents know this and push harder than most. We, on the other hand, are born with the idea that we don’t really have to work for much because we are or were the most prosperous nation in existence up until recent events. That was made obvious after world war two. But many young folk today don’t remember that war and what it afforded them in today’s society. My parents wanted to shield us from the horrors of the times they went through in Europe and maybe they were wrong to do this. If we had an appreciation of those times, maybe we would have been Tiger Moms today.

Are you familiar with Jiang the “Father of the Yunnan School”? He was one of the premier Chinese Artist who first arrived in Minneapolis for this first exhibition outside the People’s Republic in 1984.

Interesting that I have been hearing more frequently from Chinese educators that they fear that they are turning out “trained seals” who don’t know how do anything creative or meaningful with their lives. Be like them? Good luck America!

My kids are now young adults – 22 and on the cusp of 20. When they were young, I told them that they could choose whatever activities they wanted to try, but that they had to choose one that they would work at to the best of their abilities. They chose sports, and I ended up with one nationally ranked badminton payer and a provincially ranked gymnast (both since retired). They also learned to experience the pressure of competition, the camaraderie of being part of a team, a sense of achievement, the agony of defeat, knowledge of their own strengths and weaknesses, the desire to improve on their weaknesses, and a strong sense of self-worth. While I have my own issues with “judged sports” (gymnastics), they did learn to excel at something with fairly arbitrary rules of excellence, and this is something they have been able to translate into their other endeavours. They’ve developed good work ethics, reasonable time-management skills, and self-reliance and self-discipline. And they had down-time, went to sleepovers, participated in non-competitive activities. As has been previously noted, it’s all about balance.

I enjoy reading your letters, but you’re way off base on this one. Starting with this sentence “It’s an in-your-face description of the draconian methods Chinese women who live in Western cultures use to help their young children to excel.”

Wow, this is some insight about Chinese parents, or Chinese mother to be precise, because the father also listens to the mother of the house. He better! I have lived in china for 2 years now. They are giving birth to single little emperors, who have to excel in the traditional ways – academics, music, computers, occasionally sports and other art forms. The mothers spend hours pushing, cajoling, making rules, and for the kid to concentrate on the designed /decided subject for excellence, they will not let the child waste time on mundane things, like playing silly games, and joking around with other kids. The household helper (aayi) is also instructed to follow the rules, she will be ready to feed the child, and even clean their bum, so that they can do something more important with their hands, and focus on their mission.

I think guidance and encouragement are key. However looking at children as individuals with individual talents is also key. I think if one is good at something it is a great confidence booster and one goes on to bigger and better things. We can be too lax in letting children not aim for higher things. They are capable and all play or self indulgence is not good but a bit of boredom often sparks creativity. Plays, music, art, writing all require a modicum of quiet and reflection and not all out activity. Love is the other key. If it is done out of love for the other not self then that helps.

I greatly believe in the “Yin/Yang theory. Oddly this is an Asian theology. It’s a pity Ms. Chua doesn’t practice this philosophy. Balance in life is what makes it all plausible and enjoyable. There is a time for everything and everything has a time. We need work as well as play activity and rest. As artists we all know this to be true. Society has seen the results of too much work, too much drive, too much ambition. This is why the world is in the state it’s in now. We are being fed that we need more of everything. We can’t handle what we have now effectively. Oddly, Americans work more hours than any other culture on earth, including the Japanese. We happily give our employers 60 to 80 hours a week without any objection. We won’t need any “Tiger Moms” pushing us in the coming future. We will do it all by ourselves. We have already lost the fundamental beliefs in the Yin/Yang theory. Success, money, fame, wealth have become the catchwords in everything we do, even sports. Athletes don’t play for sport anymore; they play for money, fame, prestige. We don’t do anything anymore…for the fun of it, for the pure pleasure. It saddens me.

Too permissiveness? Yes … Into a Neverland of mediocrity? Yes … Convincing ourselves that what we do is okay? Maybe… All of this is irrelevant because it’s our differences that make the earth tapestry beautiful. Why do we insist on others doing things our way. Can’t we honor and respect our differences? Why can’t we take what we like and leave the rest? Homogenizing everyone and everything makes for a dull world, and yes, that includes our art.

Searcy, you are my kind of person. For me, there is nothing duller than a my-recipe-for-life letter. Good luck to Amy Chua and all the parents out there! The fact is that only a small fraction of all children will become the elite. Most parents will, in any way they can, raise the class of people that will carry the world on their backs. Very few will be able to do what really interests them, as they might have been promised as children. But people are resilient creatures that have the ability to make their lives some kind of a success, regardless of the upbringing.

Although I don’t want our children to become automatons, I think it would be beneficial if we expected better of them. How will they ever learn to aim for the stars if they are not expected to try their hardest to get there?

“At the Winner’s concert where Sophia performed, as I watched her deft fingers fluttering and tumbling up and down the piano like real butterfly wings, I was overcome with pride, exhilaration, and hope.” — Amy Chua

While I was so troubled by the regime Amy Chua speaks of, I declined to comment earlier, I also reflected on my own lacks in the realm of self-discipline. I wish I had been tamed earlier in some ways. But there is a balance. I sought to reach that balance in teaching my own elementary school classes, using different projects to require different disciplines: for instance, I used loads of colors and big sloppiness to teach by experience the need to learn paints’ limits (too much/ too little). But I used repousse copper work to teach defined, rigid rules to make the material behave. My kids asked for oil painting instruction. This I taught college style: I required a finished line drawing and a fninshed value drawing before the paints were brought out. I required a build up of values and tones on the canvas board before I allowed free use of all the colors. The children were fascinated, and learned a lot about painting and famous artists with this segment, and were very proud of their paintings. Some of them were elegant. Some were dead. (like my paintings are.)

Maaarvelous..why look at others art…you art flirt?

karen, i covet your style. so glad i looked!

To me Karen’s talent is clearly in her photography and sculpture. They both posess an element of mystery which leaves the viewer wanting more. The paintings feel like I’ve seen them before, many times over

I can really relate to Karen so I just wanted to share with you that I love your pastel painting of the clouds.

Karen

wow, your art is already really original, the peacock photo is a testament to that. fabulous work!

I remember teaching a young Tiger Mom’s daughter who was incredibly harsh on her daughter because the only talent she seemed to have was artistic, so said Tiger Mom. She told me to give her daughter even more homework (I was already famous for giving lots of homework as a Late French Immersion Teacher) as she believed the only way her daughter would succeed in life was by pushing her even more. When I pointed out how very talented her daughter was in the Arts, she gruffly said “That is useless”. Her daughter was a strong B+ to A in most subjects, but had difficulty in Math with a C to C+ average and all this while acquiring a third language! She took her out of her one social activity and hired a Math tutor. I tried to point out the gift that Art was and could be for her daughter to no avail. I often think of her and hope she kept her wonderful spirit and her art alive.

Karen ,who keeps falling in love with other artwork, needs other artists to tell her how good her work is. Karen, your paintings are wonderful! The one you call “Fiery Shrubs” is my favorite. Keep working and be inspired by other art. Use some of their ideas if you want because their work, no matter how good it is, has been done before.

Dear Karen, I understand very well your problem. A number of years ago I ran an art school and hired excellent artist/teachers to work for me. Of course I chose the teachers whose work I admired. Soon I felt I had totally lost my personal voice and direction. I fought hard against copying others’ style but it wasn’t until I stopped attending the workshops that I got back on track.

I believe you are an experimentor! Loving to try different things. That is the creativity gene at work…Creativity is is what art is all a bout. But loosing your own identity by taking on someone elses style is the problem. Robert is right that you need to respect your own talents…and you certainly have them! Incorpotating others tecniques into your own style is respecting your need to grow and experiment. Retaining yourself in your art is your maturity as an artist. Never stop experimenting,but love your own work.

Oh My Gosh- if the published painting are Your style why would you want to change it as they are beautiful!! My sister had the same problem though. She took so many workshops that after a while she had forgotten what her unique style was. Thank goodness she ‘sucked back and regrouped’ and is back on track.

Karen, I think your work is glorious. Do keep going.

Karen’s artwork shows great energy…certainly a plus! Oprah said life is all about energy! I just couldn’t find a place in the paintings to “be there”….for my eye to rest…a center of interest. Liked the sky painting best…maybe make one edge more outstanding than the others…a barn has a center of interest….a tree can be lit on one side by the light…a flower arrangement can have a center of

Seeing the work of Karen Jones makes me want to throw in the towel.

I like your work and in general I love almost every new art form, every media and most artist. Unfortunately when I am on the computer (like now) I am not painting and painting is what I love more than anything else. My motto is “never let your paint dry, keep it loose and just go with the flow”.

limit medium for a time

Whether we like it or not, there seems to be a widening gap between the available work and the available workers. This will naturally devolve into a competition. If someone wants to insure that their child have meaningful, materially rewarding, and satisfying work, they had better prepare them to compete. I hate the idea of competition as a life strategy, but am seeing it burgeoning everywhere. The days of “finding oneself” are quickly evaporating. Increasingly to be without focus is to be without anything more than hope or luck.

I’m 46, and just getting a handle on both my job and being a painter. The answer has been periods of intense focus with an equal amount of daydreaming, playing and free intellectual searching. When I was a child we were required to do some unpleasant, disciplined work, memorization and study. The rest of the time we did as we pleased – not organized or accompanied by authority. This way we had the ability to both dream and translate dreams into tangable effects. Now we seem on the extreme of both – endless entertainment and gadgets along with driven competition and activity.

Very nice work, inspiring! I wish I was you.

Some words penned in response to the thoughts of a student writing elsewhere . . . I would not normally lock horns and try to best a junior in high school; I’m hoping you do not read my words here as such, for they are meant for you only as a provocation to further thought to your ideas well-presented. You’ve written that you “used to get frustrated when I had to practice violin and I really didn’t want to . . .” Do I read correctly that you no longer “get frustrated?” If so, that’s a remarkable advancement. As a musician myself I want to ask you, Why do you practice violin and not another instrument of your choosing less frustrating, for examples, flute, harpsichord, tuba, or tabla. There is a vast — and I do mean vast! — repertoire for each of those, and many other, instruments that could challenge you unendingly for the remainder of your life. Instead of spending hours at your chosen instrument (whichever it may be) in the drudgery of isolated practice, why not spend more of your time in practice with music ensembles of various kinds. This can yield a discipline and advancement of a uniquely different kind. If you are studying formally with a violin teacher I’m quite sure he will confirm the well-founded idea that, as a performer, playing an instrument is one kind of challenge but playing an instrument WITH PEOPLE is significantly more so. A musician in isolation is a musician limited. And herein lays one, only one, of the transparent contradictions of the way Professor Chua has taught her two daughters to approach their instruments; opportunistically solely for unartistic purposes. A fundamental flaw in the approach to music of Amy Chua — an amusical hack with no known talent for an art of any kind! — is that she has decided it’s perfectly acceptable to pervert one of the greater of the fine arts for use in ulterior purposes. In the example of the Chua family, so-so slogging through masterpieces of music was used to impress others when applying for admission to university. (Would Professor Chua dare to advocate this openly with religion, physics, good grammar, or issues of national interest?) The whole idea that her elder daughter, Sophia, played a debut recital in Carnegie Hall is an early example of the pervasive blight of résumé bloat on which social climbers like Amy Chua have advanced themselves; a blight to which the Chua daughters were introduced early by two parents who know well how to tweak the system to gain unearned personal advantage. Carnegie Hall, http://www.carnegiehall.org/history/, includes three auditoria in its building: Stern Auditorium http://www.carnegiehall.org/information/stern-auditorium-perelman-stage/, Zankel Hall http://www.gotickets.com/venues/ny/zankel_hall_at_carnegie_hall.php, and Weill Recital Hall http://www.carnegiehall.org/Information/Weill-Recital-Hall/. It was in Weill that Sophia performed as only one among a cattle-call string of young pianists that day. Do you doubt what I write here? Compare the architectural design, http://si.wsj.net/public/resources/images/RV-AB160_chau_i_G_20110107132345.jpg, behind Sophia with that of the architectural design at the rear of the stage in http://www.carnegiehall.org/information/stern-auditorium-perelman-stage/. Having been a performer, myself, in both Stern and Weill over many years you have my assurance that Sophia performed her piece in Weill. Debut recital in Carnegie Hall! Indeed! You have written about your parents that they are “less extreme than Chua I’ll admit, but a lot of her memoir is satire and exaggeration.” Don’t be deceived by quick-change artist Professor Chua. She has spent more than one year trying to convince readers of her text that she is some kind of nouveau belles-lettrist who did no more than exercise a writer’s license to engage her readers. In truth she meant what she wrote until her hypocritical posturing as an authentic Chinese mother — born in Illinois to a Filipino father, neither speaks Chinese nor writes Chinese script — came back to haunt her with a ferocity that caused this self-styled Tiger Mother to recoil into improvised doublespeak. Amy Chua is a complete fake! All young musicians should be given only two music instrument choices to pursue in life, Violin or Piano. All else is useless waste. Any adult giving such advice is one woefully ill-informed. As a bass trombonist, my instrument has been my first class ticket from person-to-person, school-to-school, city-to-city, studio-to-studio, and stage-to-stage. With the kinds of preparations the Chua daughters were given will they ever perform, as I have, with Richard Tucker, Birgit Nilsson, Roberta Peters, Herbert von Karajan, Leopold Stokowski, and the two-thirds of The New York Philharmonic who were my schoolmates for five years in Juilliard? Forget it! Mercifully, I was never besieged with a Tiger Mother or Tiger Anything to motivate me. Yes, I too sometimes was bored with scales and chords. Yes, sometimes my imagined future seemed an unattainable fantasy. Yes, I did sometimes fall flat on my face in public performance (as did my teachers before me and also their teachers before them). Life went on and continues to do so. You’ve written that “At this point (as a Junior in high school) about 35% of the pressure to do well comes from my parents and the other 65% is complete self-motivation.” From the subtlety of your writing I suspect you’re cutting yourself short with that 65%. You appear to be much more highly motivated than your objective perspective about yourself can show you at this early time. The violin? I advise you to seriously reëvaluate what you believe is your relationship to any instrument of your choice; if, indeed, the violin has been your choice and not that of someone else. If the violin has been your choice, stay with it through all the coming stormy weather of doubt and seeming incompetence. If it is not, drop it in preference to another more to your liking and its fitness for your physicality. (If it’s the tuba, tell your parents that someone other than I recommended it!) Good Luck! Cordially, André M. Smith, Bach Mus, Mas Sci (Juilliard) Diploma (Lenox Hill Hospital School of Respiratory Therapy) Postgraduate studies in Human and Comparative Anatomy (Columbia University) Formerly Bass Trombonist The Metropolitan Opera Orchestra of New York, Leopold Stokowski’s American Symphony Orchestra (Carnegie Hall), The Juilliard Orchestra, Aspen Festival Orchestra, etc.

Q: You insisted your girls also have hobbies so they wouldn’t become “weird Asian automatons.” So you chose classical music. You didn’t want them doing crafts which “go nowhere” or playing drums which “lead to drugs.”

There is a recurring theme without solid core that continues to recycle on the question of Amy Chua and her style as a mother. J.G. (unfortunately anonymous, as are most of the endorsements of Professor Chua) has written I think it’s easy to take cheap shots at Chua, but it’s hard to argue that the average American child needs less discipline, less direction or less respect for others. It might seem amusing to mock her (her “cushy job” and “hottie husband”), but harder to actually consider the points being made in a non-defensive way, without trying to paint yourself as the “cool mom” who prefers three martini playdates? p.s. It seems ironic that an Asian-American female who went to Williams (fulfilling a fantasy of Chinese parents everywhere) would paint her parents as laissez-faire and herself as moderately motivated. Posted by: J.G. | January 18, 2011 at 02:31 PM http://thecareerist.typepad.com/thecareerist/2011/01/chinese-moms.html I, for one, have no interest whatsoever in her “cushy job” and “hottie husband.” Nor do I have any objection to her having become a millionaire from the sales of her book and that she will be well on her way to becoming a multimillionare once the planned translations of it into thirteen of the world’s languages have been completed. My uncompromising objections to Professor Chua are two-fold: her abuses of young children pursued to further her own narcissistic urgencies and her deep commitment of abuse of the art of music – of which she seemingly has no knowledge whatsoever – for reasons having nothing to do with that art. My shots at her are far from what J.G. calls “cheap shots.” They do in fact go to the heart of the problems with her that remain my chief concerns. J.G. and most of his fellow travelers in their tepid defenses of Professor Chua continue to focus on her inherited emphasis of the sorry state of public education in The United States. What else is new? As with most of the ringing endorsements of Amy Chua, those from J.G. are clearly from a mind not wholly engaged. He has written ” it’s hard to argue that the average American child needs less discipline, less direction or less respect for others. In his tangled syntax I’m quite sure he means – at least I’m hoping he means – it’s hard to argue that the average American child does not need more discipline, more direction or more respect for others. J.G. has written further, “p.s. It seems ironic that an Asian-American female who went to Williams (fulfilling a fantasy of Chinese parents everywhere) . . . “ Again, but this time TWO thoughts from nowhere! What has Williams College to do with Amy Chua (Harvard, A.B. ’84)? And since when has Williams even been on the “fantasy” palate “of Chinese parents everywhere?” Professor Chua usually receives the quality of defense she deserves. André M. Smith, Bach Mus, Mas Sci (Juilliard) Diploma (Lenox Hill Hospital School of Respiratory Therapy) Postgraduate studies in Human and Comparative Anatomy (Columbia University) Formerly Bass Trombonist The Metropolitan Opera Orchestra of New York, Leopold Stokowski’s American Symphony Orchestra (Carnegie Hall), The Juilliard Orchestra, Aspen Festival Orchestra, etc.

I checked Asian. I had heard it was harder to apply as an Asian, so as a point of pride, I had to say I was Asian. http://jadeluckclub.com/true-picture-asian-americans/ In almost every list, pride (Latin, superbia), or hubris (Greek), is considered the original and most serious of the seven deadly sins, and the source of the others. It is identified as a desire to be more important or attractive than others, failing to acknowledge the good work of others, and excessive love of self (especially holding self out of proper position toward God). http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seven_deadly_sins#Pride 1) Tiger Sophia, you may have checked Asian which does have a “tax,” however you also got big bonus points for being a legacy many times over. The upshot is that you had help getting in unlike these Asian Americans below who live at the poverty line and don’t have Ivy League parents with deep pockets. 2) By checking Asian when, actually, you are of mixed race, you have taken a spot away from those who don’t have the benefit of applying to a less competitive race slot. Thanks to you, someone who[se]life could be completely changed did not get a spot. http://jadeluckclub.com/true-picture-asian-americans/ For unto every one that hath shall be given, and he shall have abundance: but from him that hath not shall be taken away even that which he hath. Matthew 25:29 Sophia Chua-Rubenfeld, the daughter of a mother of mixed Asian ethnicity of no known religious involvement and a secular — whatever that means — American Jewish father ostensibly has been raised as a Jewess in an atheistic family positing itself as . . . ? When she applied for admission to Harvard she descended into a pride of Asianness to avail herself of an ethnic quota advantage. This duplicitous young woman is, indeed, her mother’s daughter! http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=230907266920263&set=o.134679449938486&type=1&theater __________________________ André M. Smith, Bach Mus, Mas Sci (Juilliard) Diploma (Lenox Hill Hospital School of Respiratory Therapy) Postgraduate studies in Human and Comparative Anatomy (Columbia University) Formerly Bass Trombonist The Metropolitan Opera Orchestra of New York, Leopold Stokowski’s American Symphony Orchestra (Carnegie Hall), The Juilliard Orchestra, Aspen Festival Orchestra, etc.