A new vocabulary

Dear Artist, English is lacking when it comes to expressions of specific situations. In the particularly rich language of Japan, for example, “tatemae” means what you pretend to believe, and “honne” means what you actually believe. Another Japanese expression, “arigata-meiwaku” is an act someone does for you that you didn’t want to have them do and tried to avoid having them do, but they went ahead anyway, determined to do you a favour, and then things went wrong and caused you a lot of trouble, yet in the end social conventions required you to express gratitude. My idea is to add more compact expressions into the English language: Outhanger: A painting you think is lousy but that others think is great which leaves you with the problem of what to do with it. Snooler: A person who gushes over your work but who you suspect privately thinks he can do better but actually can’t. Pormorse: The guilt you feel when you love to do your work and happen also to get paid for it. Slovo: An artist who attends a classy dinner party with paint still on her hands and somebody makes a remark about it. Daddylongpocket: A man who buys a painting done by a woman who is suspicious that the sale took place because she has nice legs and she has. Seeblocker: A person with a high opinion of his own work and a low opinion of everyone else’s, neither point of view being justified. Arstratto: A wannabe artist who knows how it’s done, knows all about it, talks about it all the time, but can’t bring himself to do it. Dollarflopper: A dealer or a curator who tells an artist what or how to paint. Superalphabetted: A person whose name is followed by a lot of letters. Lugg: A husband who inquires when dinner might be ready just as the artist has wax-resisted and is laying in a delicate wash. Ungrept: A wife who doesn’t understand she’s living with a genius. If you have more, please send them to rgenn@saraphina.com for consideration and possible inclusion. We’re doing pioneer work here. Best regards, Robert PS: “‘Dontopedology’ is the science of opening your mouth and putting your foot in it.” (Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh, KG, KT, OM, GBE, AC, ONZ, QSO, GCL, PC, AdC) Esoterica: The invention of words or expressions that describe complex actions is a way of taking possession of your personal processes. For example, “blindballing” is a system where a painting is made with no endgame in sight, which begins to evolve from the first stroke and continues to yin and yang between bravura and delicacy, glazing and scumbling, prodding with casual sloth and contriving with elegance and sensibility until a motif emerges that seems to be okay. The system is exciting but has its potential problems, including overworking. In Japan, an “age-otori” is someone who looks worse after they had the haircut. I use age-otori (pronounced ah-gee-oh-tori) as a handy noun to describe a painting that looks worse than when I first decided to stop working on it but didn’t.   Justimbiber by Dr. Hal Martin, San Antonio, TX, USA  

original painting
by Dr. Hal Martin

Justimbiber: Art groupie who attends show openings to be seen and drink a lot of free wine with no intention to purchase.       There are 4 comments for Justimbiber by Dr. Hal Martin
From: Jackie Knott — Jan 15, 2013

Small world! I’ve met “Justimbiber” at several shows!

From: Anonymous — Jan 15, 2013

I worked in a gallery for twenty years……..I know those people intimately….heheheh.

From: Michael McDevitt — Jan 15, 2013

Like an Irish wake?

From: Artarage — Jan 16, 2013

You mean the majority of gallery goers! lol

  Galliar, Minwager by Diane Arenberg, Mequon, WI, /Santa Fe, NM, USA  

“Summer stripes”
pastel painting
by Diane Arenberg

Galliar: A person who points to a painting that is already sold and says, “I would have bought THAT one!” Minwager: A person who asks you, “How many hours did it take you to paint that?”       There is 1 comment for Galliar, Minwager by Diane Arenberg
From: Michael McDevitt — Jan 15, 2013

“How many hours?” Answer: 24 x 365 x your years since conception. It all adds up, doesn’t it?

  Dittotopper by Andrea Pottyondy, Fall River, NS, Canada  

“Colour of Destiny”
original painting
by Andrea Pottyondy

Dittotopper: An artist who takes too many workshops and their art ends up looking like replicas of the teaching artists’ work.     There is 1 comment for Dittotopper by Andrea Pottyondy
From: Gail Caduff-Nash — Jan 17, 2013

I certainly wouldn’t mind if my work looke like a replica of a teacher’s work. Workshops are very stimulating but I rarely get to go to one.

  Blugg by Maryann Kovalski, Toronto, ON, Canada  

by Maryann Kovalski

Blugg: A man who assumes wives are the cooks in all families.         There are 2 comments for Blugg by Maryann Kovalski
From: Anonymous — Jan 15, 2013

Kind of tough to “get plenty of rest” in this poor raccoon’s household…

From: Sarah — Jan 18, 2013

Love your illustration, and love your comment!

  Freudenschadensnob by Dave Greene, Newton, NJ, USA   Freudenschadensnob: A person who tries to suppress their perverse joy that you are but an ‘associate’ member.   Famioaf, Bossoor, Dreammortuary, Recoart, etc. by Valerie Vanorden, Kalamazoo, MI, USA  

“Desert Mountains”
pastel painting
by Valerie Vanorden

Famioaf: Family buys paintings/art from artist and keeps him/her in dark about how unprofessional he/she is. Bossoor: Boring boss who has no goals and resents the artist who works a day job for having a life outside of the dull grind. Dreammortuary: Dream killers send artists to the dreammortuary to pick up the scattered pieces of their lives, sometimes called rehab. Recoart: Recovery art, done in a period of time and as a series of recovering one’s broken dreams. Furryinterruptor: Dog/cat interloper who comes to investigate artists’ actions and either gets a nose full of paint or a pointed pen in the duff.   Dopplescumbler by John Unbehend, Seattle, WA, USA   Dopplescumbler: The artist that lives inside every painter’s head that tells them they should add just a bit more paint when a painting is done. There are 3 comments for Dopplescumbler by John Unbehend
From: Dottie — Jan 15, 2013

Love it!

From: Jackson Langford — Jan 15, 2013

The Dopplescumbler got me this week. I took a photo of a work in progress that I was almost satisfied with, then referred to the photo that had I had used as a reference for the landscape. I decided to darken the desert in the foreground to more closely match the values in my reference photo. WRONG move! Now it looks flat and boring compared to what I had already done and photographed “in progress.” Will have to repaint 1/3 of my canvas to get back what I had already done well. Sometimes it is hard to trust our instincts isn’t it?

From: Mike D. — Jan 18, 2013

I have this problem also. Taking pictures of all my paintings as i go helps with this.

  Artichoke by Ray McNeice, Stouffville, ON, Canada  

“Bringing home the tree”
original painting
by Ray McNeice

Artichoke: An artist who is so unsure of their work that they refuse to exhibit it publicly.       There are 4 comments for Artichoke by Ray McNeice
From: Don Cadoret — Jan 15, 2013

Wonderful painting Ray….something you would never artichoke over……..

From: Donna Jackson — Jan 15, 2013

I love it too!

From: David — Jan 15, 2013

great term and painting, Ray – thanks!

From: Anonymous — Jan 17, 2013

wait, so it’s a noun or verb? ;) i like it. all the math q’s = 13.

  Ignoranus by Declan Whelehan, Toronto, ON, Canada   Ignoranus: One who loudly discusses a work while admitting he ‘knows nothing about art’ (and likes what he knows). There is 1 comment for Ignoranus by Declan Whelehan
From: Gail Caduff-Nash — Jan 17, 2013

Now, i like anyone who says anything from their own point of view about art, as opposed to ‘liarkinding’ (see below) who only offer compliments, or people who think they have to “know something about art” before they can speak on it. I’ve gotten some great perspectives on my work from people who just speak their mind.

  Liarkinding, Clownvisagia, Saddergaller by Carmen Beecher, Satellite Beach, FL, USA  

“Sittin and Fishin”
oil painting
by Carmen Beecher

Liarkinding: Complimenting an artist on a painting you hate because you don’t want to hurt their feelings. Clownvisagia: Going out in public unaware you have paint on your face. Saddergaller: Depression because you didn’t sell well at your show.     Stumour by Peter Randall-Kent, Sydney, Australia  

“Hawkesbury Afternoon”
acrylic painting
by Peter Randall-Kent

Stumour: A person who, at an exhibition of your work, raves about your talent, buttonholes you at every possible moment (much to your embarrassment in front of others) and promises to return and purchase a painting during the quieter period after the opening…………. never to return!           Mockmoser by Kathleen Hope, Fountain Hills, AZ, USA  

“By the sea”
mixed media
painting by Kathleen Hope

Mockmoser: A non-artist that wants to be an artist because it’s cool to say, but lacks the work ethic to be one. Then suddenly decides to paint Plein-air in a public place.         There are 3 comments for Mockmoser by Kathleen Hope
From: Virginia Wieringa — Jan 15, 2013

Wow! Great composition! Stunning piece!

From: Michael McDevitt — Jan 15, 2013

Thanks for lighting this image so well that we can see the structure clearly.

From: Anonymous — Jan 20, 2013

Wonderful work—hits me where I live.

  Mortvert, Lensridden, Fleurish, Howdoyoudoitis, etc. by Gabriella Morrison, Maple Ridge, BC, Canada  

“Monica Reading in the Studio”
oil painting
by Gabriella Morrison

Mortvert: Sick to death of flabby landscapes. Lensridden: Too heavy reliance on undigested photographic sources. Fleurish: Flogged to distraction by floral themes. Howdoyoudoitis: A condition of begging for details on technique. Contrapasto: Decking an unwanted critic with a left hook. Wax resist: A verbal method of argument with a workshop leader or teacher. Digital manipulation: Finger-painting. Pedigreed Dog: A bad work by a famous artist in any medium. There is 1 comment for Mortvert, Lensridden, Fleurish, Howdoyoudoitis, etc. by Gabriella Morrison
From: Anonymous — Jan 15, 2013

Your composition takes me into the studio with you. Nice staging. However your punishment of the King’s own may be nights exemplar, but it falls two dais too late. Parodees: what I should have gotten in two of my english limerick classes.

  Linguiflate, Turkey Salad, Oopsiopea, Damniopea, etc. by Fawa Conradie, South Africa   Linguiflate: The use of “big” words when talking about an art piece; usually as a busk because he/she does not really know what to say about it. Turkey Salad: The withdrawal symptom an artist (who works in oils) experiences when away from the intoxicating smell of his studio for a lengthy period (as in Cold Turkey). Oopsiopea: Exact moment you realize, when using watercolours, you have just added that one brush stroke too many. Damniopea: Exact moment when you realise you won’t make the deadline. Can also be used when realising that you won’t have enough works for a show. Buttrofactus: Anything that accidently falls in an artist’s studio will land face down (much like buttered toast).   Lots to learn by Kathleen Dawson, Black Creek, BC, Canada  

“Scottish Highlands Near Inverness”
oil painting
by Kathleen Dawson

These words are funny because they are true and also comforting to artists and so they are needed as every artist has sucked up every single one of these experiences. I teach occasionally and also put a huge amount of effort into each and every aspect of painting in class so that each student actually learns something about painting. After four or fewer lessons, students sometimes start asking about selling their work and how much could they get for their painting. It always amazes me how so many humans believe that painting is a simple process like a child’s exploration in kindergarten. Painting is a wonderland of exploration with millions of decisions made along the way, some successful, some a failure and some that need adjustments. Learning about this journey takes the better part of a lifetime. There are 3 comments for Lots to learn by Kathleen Dawson
From: Nancy — Jan 15, 2013

And there should be a word for that!

From: Lorraine Khachatourians — Jan 15, 2013


From: Laura H. — Jan 15, 2013


  Vocabulary influences art by Ania Kyte, BC, Canada  

mixed media
by Ania Kyte

There is Polish expression, smacznego, which is said at the dinner table, wishing everyone enjoyment in eating the meal, similar to the French bon appétit; the Italians have the term sprezzaturra to refer to doing something with natural perfection, seemingly without any effort, despite how many hours of long practice may have taken place behind the scenes. It never ceases to amaze me how many times the English language seems to be missing terms for certain situations or conditions — I love your idea of creating new words to address these deficiencies, thus simplifying long explanations… My English literature professors always commented that my papers were too wordy: I realize now that it might have been because I was trying to find a way to compensate for terms that don’t exist in English. This wordy tendency can sometimes find ways of seeping into my artwork: whenever I find myself at the torch creating a tiny sculpture out of molten glass, I am constantly needing to fight the urge to add too much: too much of one colour, too many different colours, too much detail, too much heat… Despite best intentions, the piece becomes overworked and often nothing like that I had envisioned (similar to your “age-otori” factor), and I realize that working with basic colours and shaping the glass quickly to achieve simple designs conveys more than any contrived intricacy. This is what I strive for even after ten years of working with molten glass — I think it is a worthy goal, although it might require inventing a new mental vocabulary for my glass techniques :-) There is 1 comment for Vocabulary influences art by Ania Kyte
From: Angela Treat Lyon — Jan 14, 2013

Have to watch out for tomuchitis!


Archived Comments

Enjoy the past comments below for A new vocabulary

From: Faith — Jan 11, 2013

One of the charms of the German language is that you can improvise any words you don’t have handy. They may or may not be in a dictionary (nobody knows them all). All words have come into any language through inventive usage, so some of the creations above might find themselves in daily mouthwork quite quickly. There is a already a tendency to drophyphens in US English, which must be confusing for nonnativespeakers (e.g. icecream,ice-cream, ice cream) but opensup a plethora of possibilities. To continue with the Germancomparison. Normal everyday joinedupwords translated into English could include (taken from this morning’s puzzlepage in a dailynewspaper) crosswordpuzzle, bamboobear, daycurrent,horserunningtrack, solutionword,outfilled, countrygood….. an endless delight! Artywords might include (in literal translation) chinabrush, onpointer, artstuffbottle…..

From: Practical Kat — Jan 11, 2013

Can I step to an aside, for a moment? Does there, anywhere at all in the industrial / post industrial world, exist a glue which will permanently fasten a paper backing to a frame? It doesn’t seem to matter if I get something professionally framed, or do it myself. I seem to be constantly regluing. I am beginning to think “duct tape”. (Another example of “planned obsolescence”?)

From: Robert Sesco — Jan 11, 2013

“Exhaustipated” : too tired to give a crap (sent to me by retired parents)

From: Andrew Sookrah — Jan 11, 2013

Gattem, a prophet, leader or guru who has a remarkably brilliant and wicked sense of humour.

From: Niki Hilsabeck — Jan 11, 2013

Virgist- an artist who keeps all her artwork hidden for fear it might be rejected.

From: Critidodger — Jan 11, 2013

“justifartist” = anyone who believes that art must be created for no other purpose but to be offered up for sale. “justifart” = art that has no value, but what the marketplace decides. “critidodger” = anyone who gains self satisfaction out of his or her artistic output, without the need for the affectations or the “rewards” of social feedback.

From: Hank — Jan 11, 2013

I have an ungrept in the house and a studio full of age-otoris.

From: Dwight — Jan 11, 2013

Bebacker…the person at an out door art festival or a gallery exhibit opening who takes up a lot of time, says they’ll be back and never is.

From: Dwight — Jan 11, 2013

Me again for Practical Kat: If I had your email I might be able to help since I’ve been doing this successfully for 50+ years. Just park your email here if that’s not out of your safety zone.

From: John Ferrie — Jan 11, 2013

I have a few more Robert. 1. Grantsnuffler. This is the idiot who sits and waits for the results of the grant they applied for 8 months ago. Meanwhile they are doing nothing. 2. Angrybletus. This is the person, who instead of therapy has decided to try and express their demons through their art. And you actually have to look at this criptique stuff. 3. Golfitizit. This is the person who should have taken up golf instead of painting. 4. Momlikesititus. This is the person whom when asked your opinion really only wants to hear how much you like it because their mom likes it. 5. Helpmesellthiscrapola. This is the person who is just starting out and wants to know how to market and sell their works. Starting with asking for our mailing lists. 6. Wasteomytimeo. The client who comes to our studio with the premise of buying, but really just wants us to look at their crummy photos of their trip to the grand canyon.

From: David Read — Jan 11, 2013

Now that you mention it, Robert, I have an art storage room over-flowing with “age-otori”. I now consider them important stepping stones, ‘though in the past I have called them lots of other things. I like your borrowed word better!

From: Feedbackerist — Jan 11, 2013

feedback for John Ferrie and encouragement for Anonymous, of the previous clickback (re: A Difficult Situation”) John, I don’t think we need a new word for “judgementalist”. There is a lengthy list of persons who drew and painted their way out of difficult situations. I would find that option to be far superior to being drugged into a stupor by the pharma-poisoners. And, a pencil or brush is a far more preferable weapon than a rifle or a butcher knife — or a bridge jump, for that matter. Anon, you hang in there. I would suggest you have a look at some of the works of John Rombola, Elizabeth “Grandma” Layton, and the German, Karl Appel, for some examples of just a few persons who have encountered their own versions of the “dark night of the soul”. Or, how about Vincent Van Gogh? I do not, however, recommend the works of John Ferrie. And, John, you don’t “have to look” at anybody’s work — unless you are their teacher. In that case, you are being paid to do so.

From: Practical Kat — Jan 11, 2013

@ Dwight: Thanks, in advance for any suggestion. I have a mail box at gmail dot com you can use. copol147 It’s one I don’t look at often, but I’ll do that for a few days.

From: Barbara in Chandler, AZ — Jan 11, 2013

Love the “Lugg” since I have one of those at home. How about “Timewatcher” for those wonderful “how long did it take you to paint that?” people.

From: Susan Avishai — Jan 11, 2013

@Barbara– When asked by a timewatcher how long did it take to paint that, I usually just give my age.

From: Carmen Beecher — Jan 11, 2013

Liarkinding: Complimenting an artist on a painting you hate because you don’t want to hurt their feelings. Clownvisagia: Going out in public unaware you have paint on your face. Saddergaller: Depression because you didn’t sell well at your show.

From: Tatjana-MP — Jan 11, 2013

Measurebator (borrowed from lab lingo) – person who has to know the exact recipe for every color in your painting. Beecow (repurposed from an old world saying) – painting that looks like two different artists painted it. Telephonanist (borrowed from family) – gallery owner who keeps you on the phone for an hour explaining in detail what exactly you should paint, why and how and the life story of every client that ever walked into the gallery, and that of the gallery owner herself.

From: Doug — Jan 11, 2013

“Doug the Lugg”. I’ll get even Robert.

From: Jackie Knott — Jan 11, 2013

Hubby blindblinkers … the man thinks anything I do from breakfast on up is superior to anyone else on the planet – the worst possible person to ask for a critique.

From: Carol Palmer — Jan 11, 2013

Snooler: An Airedale. Leaves snool on windows, doors, and one’s glasses.

From: Dean Wilson — Jan 11, 2013

Well done, you have “Cowmooned” yourself on this one!

From: Norman Ridenour — Jan 11, 2013

I have read your pieces for years and even as a 3D artist much applies. HOWEVER today you have topped them all. Wonderful. In teaching English as a foreign language students often ask why English does not have a word for………. I have to tell them that English developed as a language of business (It did) and business people are highly unimaginative.

From: Kathryn — Jan 11, 2013

ha ha ha! Robert you nailed it! Signed, Arstratto L. Snooler, PSA, OPA (lol)

From: Kathryn Lissack — Jan 11, 2013

For some reason I have a need to build on this one: Slovotto: a person at a classy dinner party who remarks (or believes it is acceptable to remark) to an invited artist guest that she still has paint on her hands.

From: Susie Cipolla — Jan 11, 2013

I laughed so hard at your additions to the artists’ vocabulary. My favourite is the “fogscaper”, a person who gushes over your work, in your presence and says he/she is “absolutely going to come back and buy it” and of course never does. Coward.

From: Diane McCarten — Jan 11, 2013

Exhaustipated: a combination of exhausted and constipated used when so tired you can’t move. “I painted all day and all night and now I am exhaustipated”. My daughter and I invented that word.

From: Mitch — Jan 11, 2013

Loud applause! Bravo! Bravisimo! Send this into Webster’s or at least the slang dictionary; painter’s section.

From: Dorothy Englander — Jan 11, 2013

Scumollector: man who offers to buy my painting if I will go to bed with him. (Really happened; I wouldn’t, he didn’t) Loved all your terms! And also Prince Phillip’s.

From: Karen R. Phinney — Jan 11, 2013

Loved this, it is hilarious! I am trying to think of some…. maybe not quite as clever to make up (are they called portmanteau?) words….. Always enjoy the letters…. after so many years of receiving them, they are a mood lightener, and insight bringer. Thanks for this!

From: Felice Panagrosso — Jan 11, 2013

Doppelanticus (or Doppelantica) – someone you notice on the street who looks like someone you know, but it couldn’t possibly because he or she would not have changed for 30 years.

From: Yvonne Moyer — Jan 11, 2013

Rapidimo: is an artist who races through the work just to get it done. Scrudgemuffin: artist who makes a huge mess as he/she works (often a small child).

From: Jo Watts — Jan 11, 2013

I have a word – it’s not really related to art but could be. I’m sure that every family develops a special language as the children grow and learn to speak. Here is one of ours: “Poschunt” …. or it could be ‘poschent”. As far as I can discern, it means “supposed to should not”. As in “Mommy, you poschunt make me go to bed if I’m not sleepy”. Or, perhaps an artist poschunt copy a calendar picture and claim it as his own. Thank you again for your humor and your insights. You so often hit my nail right on its head! As a journalist (and I use the term very loosely for what I do), I know how difficult it sometimes is to come up with something to write just one day a week and you manage to do it twice while continuing to paint and produce art. I admire that.

From: Pat Zalisko — Jan 11, 2013

“Slovo” means “Word” in Ukrainian, Russian and a few other Slavic languages:-) I love incorporating “slovo’s” in my paintings.

From: Doris Daigle — Jan 11, 2013

Ungrept: A wife who doesn’t understand she’s living with a genius. Might this be “spouse” and not just wife? LOL

From: Jeanne Kollee — Jan 11, 2013

You certainly brightened up my day! We are under 2 feet of snow here in Alberta and it’s dark outside and miserable. The new terms you posted are absolutely spot on, and so funny! Almost spat out my morning coffee on some of them. What fun!

From: Ann Beringer — Jan 11, 2013

Love this post!!! I just committed age-otori and am trying to undo what I did, but don’t know if I can get it back! I also think we need a word for when you are working from a photo and put a color down, then suddenly you see that color in your photo, this happens to me a lot. Maybe calling it “colorsight”. Also, we need one for small changes that can make or in our opinion break a painting! These are things that only we would notice, so maybe “artistinstinctivity”.

From: Jackie Pritchard — Jan 11, 2013

I LOVE your vocabulary terms posted today! So right-on and provided a good chuckle. I adopted Prince Philip’s ” dontopedology” for my own chronic condition when I read it somewhere else a while back. Today, I will add “arstratto” to the mix. Family health issues stopped my painting a few years back and while they are no longer pertinent, I can’t find a place to insert private painting time into the business of every other chore or activity that is screaming for my attention. Frustration is the result! Help!

From: Lorna Dockstader — Jan 11, 2013

Pleinaggorate- verb, the act if conversing too much to an artist while they are plein air painting. Pleinaggorator- noun, the person who is aggravating you by talking too much while you are plein air painting. Conceptingurge- verb, to suck in another artist’s ideas. Anxiartitis- fear of starting to paint, fear of galleries and all things art related. Anxiclientus- fear of openings Gennantici- committing the act of anticipating an email from Robert Genn Amazingly, the iPad did not autocorrect any of these.

From: Jeff Molloy — Jan 11, 2013

Scrotarm – (pronounced scrooo-t-arm)- a term used to describe the loose skin that hangs from the underarm. The condition is actually muscle loss caused by lazy painting.

From: Anita Slevin — Jan 11, 2013

Every once in a while I have to remember to thank you for keeping me sane while I work alone in my studio. Thanks!

From: Susan McCrae — Jan 11, 2013
From: Alice Madden — Jan 11, 2013

Loved the new words. Keep in mind, the word “lug” has this as one of it’s many meanings, so you may not need your extra “g”: 1. Slang. A clumsy fool; a blockhead.

From: Lisa Schaus — Jan 11, 2013

An excellent note. Simply, clearly stated. I call this writing an “epiphandom”. Speaking of fans…..I thoroughly enjoyed doing this as a demo for a college class and it had many fans. (Sorry, that just slipped out :o).

From: Harriet Westfall — Jan 11, 2013

Prepamania: The gathering and sorting of painting materials to the extent that the act of painting itself takes a back seat to preparation. Garbdenia: Artist who can’t pass found objects in the street or dumpster without picking them up for future use in a collage.

From: Karen Fulk — Jan 11, 2013

Intertwangled- totally confusing but self explanatory, as in trying to bring order out of chaos, whether it be in art or in life itself. Which may be a discombobulated definition in itself. Discomboobalated: complete disconnect, as in husband and wife trying to communicate; a mystery.

From: John Ferrie — Jan 11, 2013

To “feedbackerist”, The best thing about this forum is an exchange of ideas, thoughts, pros and general support of art. It’s really too bad you cannot read into the whimsy of my comments. Instead you chastise me here and then hide behind your statements with a fake name. I respond all the time on here and have made many friends. As an artist who tries to help others, these are some of my experiences. Nothing is the beginning, nothing is the end. Lighten up, geesh!! John Ferrie. That’s john Ferrie. John@johnferrie.com. See, I’m not afraid to post my name or email!!

From: Sharon E. Allen — Jan 11, 2013

I’d like to suggest SHERPART … sherpa joined with art … the non-painting companion who helps the artist lug everything and set up for shows!

From: D K Berman — Jan 11, 2013

Snotfondler: A critic who fails to write up or even attend exhibitions of artists who can really paint.

From: Herb Kelly — Jan 11, 2013

Yakalot—fellow student in an art class who talks more than paints

From: John Ferrie — Jan 12, 2013

And “feedbackerist” I don’t see you taking on anyone else on here. There are some real meanies!

From: Doug Mays — Jan 12, 2013

‘Ninnymuggin’ from the Christmas movie Elf. Don’t know what it means but the grand kids laugh when they hear it so it must be important!

From: Jim Knowles — Jan 12, 2013

Eldercranker: An older artist who developed a simple, easy to do motif style some years ago and because of some continued demand and recognition by monied collectors and tired dealers continues to grittingly do the same thing because, well, it’s a living.

From: Merfnsteve — Jan 12, 2013

Sketchskipper- A person who wants to learn how to paint but who wants to skip the labor intensive chore of learning how to draw first. Curaborial- Curator- artist who only juries work into shows that looks like their work.

From: Herb Kelly — Jan 12, 2013

Memimpaired–Person who consistently “forgets” to meet deadlines to enter contests but is sure that if only she had entered she would win.

From: DM — Jan 13, 2013

The Nigerian Jazz musician, Fela Kuti coined the word assemblage, “democrazies”. I knew a young poet, long ago, who was very effective at this device. Don’t know what ever became of him, but I hope his “word art” somehow survives.

From: back-row listener — Jan 13, 2013

domest’-irrup’-tion – The incessant duty of chores. class’i-fic’-tion – Put forth as excellent and you wonder why. un’dermin-ol’-ogist – The one who relishes in suspected failings of others. pan’der-ran’ter – The loud and gushing fan. bliss-blindness – The condition experienced after your first successful show. bemus’ey-dooz’ey – A complicated, difficult and very large painting. stutter-puttering = The inability to focus on the work. sleeper-optic – The boring composition. flasher-optic – The shocking painting. tender-optic – The sentimental painting. candy-optic – The colourful painting. …and finally I’ll include this one from personal experience: o-vert’-i-op’-sis A condition held by those who must be ‘in-your-face’ when they speak to you. These o-vert’-i-op-sis’-tic predators tend to look for weaker prey – the shy and timid. Solution for all: the studio.

From: HollyWG — Jan 13, 2013

Nice letter. Japanese examples so very revealing of that culture… as are yours of ours. Escape From Spiderhead!

From: Bill Adams — Jan 13, 2013

CANVAGRATION The ceremonial burning of earlier work not suitable for displaying DRARK A work of art created after too much alcohol was consumed ARTBATROSS A large and unsellable piece of art that you can’t bear to part with, despite many studio moves MUCKTAGE A failed mixed media experiment DITZMAHLER A versatile artist who can’t settle on any particular style or subject matter PALLECY The belief that trying a different range of colours will produce better results STUBRUSH A ruined brush that should have been thrown out long ago

From: Ed Hind — Jan 13, 2013

Flooral. A painting done on the floor

From: Raphe Killington-Osborne — Jan 14, 2013

Marklepsia — the use of several strokes when one will do the same thing. Finisteria– keeping a work around endlessly wondering if something more needs doing. Redelineated– adding outline against contour strokes of a similar color. Flasher– showing toned ground through unpainted spots in the picture, most notoriously orange and red, but often gesso white.

From: Tinal — Jan 14, 2013

SOLDAMORE – the client that only loves the pieces that are already sold. Never buys anything.

From: Marianne Broome — Jan 14, 2013

Huetravesty: when the artist is asked to change the colours in a painting or repaint it to match the decor. Huereka!: Upon finding the right hue to describe what one wants to convey. Naturebliss: The feeling of being enveloped in the scene on that perfect plein air painting day. Petmedia: Those dog and cat hairs that end up in your work even if they are not with you while you are painting. Conduddle: a situation where you don’t know how to proceed.

From: John Mix — Jan 14, 2013

NQWIHIM: gathering a dozen or so starts that need to be painted out/cancelled. (not quite what I had in mind)

From: Melanie Hall-Szyszkiewicz — Jan 14, 2013

Mutoduano: Much to do about nothing

From: Steve Quiller — Jan 14, 2013

Misvaluator: Someone who comes into your gallery and looks at the price tags on all of your work. The first question asked from the observer is- “How many paintings do you do in one year?”

From: Nancy — Jan 15, 2013

I never had so much fun reading one of your letters before – I can relate to every word!

From: David Kelavey — Jan 15, 2013

Pixclamation: When someone declares: “It looks like a picture!” Pesticipant: A participating artist that eats all the food at a group show. Absaler: An artist that fails to show up to pick up their art at the end of a group show because they are absolutely convinced that it must have sold. Mediogre: A ho-hum artist that loudly criticizes others’ work to bolster their own self-image. Painterruptus: The inability to paint because of the kids, the FedEx guy, emails, the meter man, the phone, life…. Palette-Pincher: An artist that would be great if they only used more paint. Schtickler: An artist that makes a comfortable living from painting the same thing over and over and over…

From: Susan Kellogg, Austin, TX — Jan 15, 2013

For Doc Martin, above…your pun or neologism, justinbiber, was brilliant because it was true. If it weren’t cedar fever season, I would try to come up with some…woops! one is trying to come through…justin cedar? …well not quite. Drat.

From: Ken Krug, Marlton ,NJ — Jan 15, 2013

What about names affecting artists? Norman Rockwell seems like a perfect name for him and the work he did. Could Disney World sound as good or work as well as any other name? I sometimes wonder if their names helped them, at least in some degree, in their direction and endeavors. Maybe some names help or hinder, look at show business. I also wonder if artists with swashbuckling, flourishing sounding names tend to produce work like that more often, with stylistic, extravagant brushwork and flourishes. Shrapnel’s name seems to fit that idea, and I don’t know if this true, but I remember reading that Board was name of the person who came up with the idea of the boardwalk. Of course a lot of it, we’re used to name and person, but it still makes me wonder. There are probably plenty of other examples.

From: Slim Granbrook — Jan 15, 2013

Gerifessor- someone who’s been around for so long he/she believes everyone can learn from him/her regardless of his/her abilities or qualifications

From: Jackson Langford — Jan 15, 2013

Just wanted to take a moment to thank you Robert for the many times when this forum has challenged, encouraged, and inspired me. I appreciate your frank candor, humor, and generousity. By freely sharing your “Twice Weekly Letters,” you have given us much. Thanks also to you fellow “clickbackers” for your insightful contributions. I find myself looking forward to each installment. This one was particularly amusing and fun.

From: Dell Sorley — Jan 15, 2013

Thanks Ken Krug. What about Sir Thomas Crapper? Inventor of You Know What. Then there’s Sir James Jeans, physicist, who did not apparently invent Blue Jeans.

From: Siwon — Jan 15, 2013

Landskype: A painting done on land with a Webcam. Whoopseascape: A painting done on a boat in high seas. Stillfright: A painting done on Halloween under the bed.

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The Fire Next Time

collage, 48 x 48 inches by Susan Avishai, Toronto, ON, Canada

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